The conference was just a start but our efforts to
reach out to other spinsters is not. Over the past
couple of months our middle-aged and elderly sisters
have been complaining about being excluded from
church or community functions for single persons.
Theyíve been accusing these functions of forcing the
issues of romance and dating on them.
Objectively examining their accusations of those
organizations I can understand the romance and dating
emphasis by them. The average single man and woman
is seeking companionship and would prefer romance
be the end results of their efforts to find a mate.
Unfortunately, these types of programs donít cater to
happily spinstered women and would be a serious turn
off to them if they participated in those sponsored
So why havenít spinster women proactively developed
social programs aimed at their spinstered peers? Lets
not forget, women are suppose to feel ashamed of
being alone therefore creating programs geared
towards those like themselves would be showing some
form of pride. Now we canít allowed that can we?
Nonsense, with more women finding themselves
successfully living without mates this would be a
perfect time to start social programs thatíll allow
women to fellowship and form friendships with those
in common with themselves. We should be quick to
bid farewell to those lonely days inwhich spinsters and
widows hid in their homes afraid of going to social
events or worst yet creating friendships with others
because of that ingrained belief.
Itís common for mainstream world to think a woman
should spend her days feeling sorry for the spouse or
lover she let get away. As liberated women we should
shatter that myth within our own minds and freely
move within the circles weíve created for our own benefits. Thereís power in surrounding ourselves with friends and family (both related and extended).
Proud footsteps of those spinsters that have gone before and those that are soon to follow.
New Readership Development
Recently the Leather Spinsters Newsletter was made available to patrons of New York City. Our current readership is 12,000 and growing so pat yourselves on the back. Had it not been for the current subscribers requesting that we supply their local libraries and coffee shops with this publication the phenomenal growth would not have happened. Don't get me wrong I'm thoroughly enjoying the expansion of the newsletter but I didn't expect the volume of mail and emails I now receive. So please don't be offended if I'm not able to respond right away to them, also know that they're appreciated.
I'm Marcey and for a long time I suffered from the dreadful disease called Alley McBealism and without a cure in sight I was healed. All my nights and days were spent looking for Mister Right didn't matter what I was doing I always left a spare ear and eye free to search for him
Anyone have any idea how tiring that is, man I could not eat out in public for fear I'll be distracted by every single man who walked past me. Hey if you're like this and need to shed some weight all you had to do was eat out every night, sure you'll have whiplash from the constant turning of the head and of course you'll spend a fortune but you'll get those pounds off.
I feel sorry for women like the girl I once were always pinning their hearts on every man they meet hoping the feelings will lead to marriage. That's the loneliest life anyone could have and I courageously gave it up, ok I didn't give it up on purpose it just sorta happened but it happened. One day I woke up and I focused on other things besides finding a husband, gradually I spent more and more time doing and thinking about other things,whaa laa, the urge to jump a man from behind was gone, ok not completely gone I just think about it sometimes.
My mother a traditional Irish lass can't quite grasp why I'm alone, ok alright, she have some theories as to why I'm alone, one she thinks I'm too proud to settle for a man,hmm,second I can't cook, wellllll maybe, thirdly she feels I want to be equal with a man which in her mind isn't so. Hey I'd rather be alone then feel as if I'm less than any man on this planet. All joking aside, I was aware of the type of men I attracted, and they were a low caliber to say the least, but I knew better than to settle down with them. They were goodlooking and fun to be around so I took advantage of those moments while they lasted.
For a long time I punished myself for being without a man but that got old real quick, ok not quick enough but over time I sure did. I'm not a young girl just leaving home I've been out here on my own for a long time and I've been hurt even felt trampled from time to time but never desperate enough to settle. The people we settle down with are a reflection of us and if we don't like the person we're committed to then that's a sign we don't like ourselves very much.
Momma can't comprehend that concept because she's never had to look for a husband thanks to her parents.The recepient of a arranged marriage she can only draw her conclusions about dating from what she's been told by others or worst yet television.
If a person is lucky time brings with it wisdom, but you don't know it's wisdom it's in disguise as doing the right thing. Admit it, to rely on wisdom at 88 sounds fitting but at 35 it sounds unusual, so I like to think of it as "doing the right thing".
The "right thing" for me is to remain unwed, why?I've gotten use to hearing myself think, waking up in the middle of the bed, drinking milk from the carton, throwing my undergarments on the floor and leaving them there until guest arrive, yeah yeah that's bad but sooooo whaaaat!
There's nothing like smiling to yourself in the morning and no one's there to ask you if you're aaaaaalllright, I can laugh and heck yeah even talk to myself without the fear of being overheard at home,I don't do that at work because people would think I was weird. Alley McBeal makes me laugh but I wouldn't want to be her again, it's lonely being her, maybe a fitting last episode of her show would be of her finding joy in being alone thus leaving her friends to drink in their loneliness at the bar. 35,Marcy O'Neal
This is the first time I could speak openly about my sexual orientation without the funny glances and urgings to seek therapy. I can honestly say I'm not a victim of sexual or physical abuse as a child or at the hands of past lovers. I had to make that known so there's no misunderstanding of my viewpoint as to why I don't fantasize or lust after sexual stimulation.
Over the past decade I've felt the need to hide my true self from those around me,maybe it was the fear of persecution that prompted me to hide. I do know when I came clean my world changed drastically, I lost my friends who thought I was gay for ten years. They were comfortable with the lesbian me because they were lesbians. When they discovered I wasn't gay but asexual, admitting that all that sex talk in the past were that of fake orgasms they dropped me like a bad habit.
As a lesbian I was promiscuous not for the enjoyment but for the appearance of a "normal" sexual woman. Looking back over my life I have no regrets from all the pitfalls and betrayals in my life, it was those things that made me the strong confident woman I am today.
How did this asexual stuff happen? I don't know but I've grown to think it's a natural occurence just as any sexual preference, unfortunately psychology has yet to catch up with my conclusion. Psychologists are still referring to asexual women as frigid and sexually inadequate, another sign to the world that something is wrong with the girl that never grows into a passionate sexual participant.
A friend of mine was prescribed Viagra by her physician on the hopes of making her more acceptable in this culture. Why can't a man or woman be seen as healthy and normal if they're not indulging sexually? My friend hasn't matured into this lifestyle yet. She's still trying to fit into the sexual order of the world and that's ok. I've been there and I was very unhappy but that don't mean she'll suffer the same fate. I do hope she finds her true place in this world, I suspect she'll be falling scraping her knees along the way which will be giving her valuable lessons in life. Eventually, whichever path she decides to travel she'll do so with confidence by not letting others define her.
Acceptance of this lifestyle has yet to be seen and I doubt in five years we'll have men and women marching in the streets demanding special governmental priviledges due to our asexualness. I have noticed in recent months more discussions on leather spinsterhood on the internet and that's good news.
The only thing that concerns me about this new awareness and dialogue is the assumptions all leather spinsters are heterosexual and on some level sexually active. I've talked in great lengths about this topic with other leather spinsters and their admissions to being closed mouth about their asexualness for fear of further isolation of leather spinsters were made known to me.
When will we as leather spinsters stop fearing mainstream judgement and start acknowledging each other. If we wait for the "straight and narrow" or better yet the "gay and proud" groups to embrace us we'll have another thing coming, fact is it's not going to happen. It's those sexually stimulated folks who would like us to be silent and pretend all is the same for everyone which it isn't.
In order to change the thoughts of the masses you must be willing to change yourself, love who you are and to those that see fit to dislike you for being a leather spinster let them it their perorgative. I'm in no way saying that all leather spinsters are asexual but I do remind others that some of us are and to not exclude us from the wonderful dialogue now taking place.41,Judith Russo
Leather Spinsters on the Web
is the name of our new ezine located on the World Wide Web.Two months in the creation it's finally open for visitors. Simple in construction but welcoming to single women seeking to escape the pressures and harassment of mainstream existence. Now single women can find solace in reading articles that'll help them live their lives to the fullest without the bombardment of romance,dating and erotica. http://leatherspinsters.com/ezine.html
A Different Kind of Lasagna
Lately there's been plently of interest in low-carb eating and with it comes alot of variations to traditional dishes. For the past four months I've existed on a carbo addicts eating plan, elinimation of high carbs during two meals of the day. I have to say it's been a very pleasant experience and I can see myself five years from now eating low carb. A subscriber aware of my way of eating or WOE for short sent me the following recipe that uses cabbage instead of pasta. Now I know what you're thinking, cabbage???? I tried the recipe and was wonderously surprised so I would like you to be the judge. Bon Apetite!
1 small to medium head cabbage
1 Tablespoon olive oil
3 slices of onion chopped
1 green pepper chopped
2 lbs ground beef (I use ground
1 - 26oz. can spagetti sauce (Del
Monte Garlic & Herb was in the
listing and it tasted good)
2 C. grated mozzarella cheese
1- 24oz. cottage cheese
1/2 C. gratd parmesan cheese
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Take
the cabbage, wash and remove outer leaves. Cut the head into half and the half into half.
Careully peel the leaves off the head and arrange one layer in the
bottom of a 9x15x2 inch pan to see hou many you need. You will use two layers of leaves. Take the cabage leaves out of the pan and place in a steamer basket or cook in water about 3-5 minutes. These will serve as the lasagna noodles. Set aside.
Put the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Saute the onion and green pepper until onion is translucent. Add the ground beef and brown thoroughly. Drain the fat. Add the spaghetti sauce and heat. Meanwhie, in another bowl, beat the egg and add the cottage cheese and parmesan cheese and mix together.
Coat the 9x13x2 inch pan with a little olive oil. Line the bottom of the pan with a layer of cabbage leavs.Top with half of the meat mixture. Add half of the cheese mixture, and half of the mozzarella
cheese. Repeat the layering Bake covered about 20 minutes. Uncover and bake for 10 minutes more.
I found your newsletter in my neighborhood library I'm glad I did.I only wish it was around when I was younger and very depressed. Everyone I know was married and had children when I was thirty-five and I felt out of the loop. I envy the woman that don't know how it feels to be depressed about not having someone waiting for me after work.
Been alone all my adult life, and all my adult life I wanted the typical things, husband, and children. It didn't happen that way for me but now I'm glad it didn't. I have a apreciation for life now that I've gone through menopause. Young women today are so outgoing and carefree and that's good now I think that loneliness I felt in my thirties won't enter their lives. If it do they know how to deal with it. I like the newsletter and hope it'll continue coming to my library. 61,Bonnie (Bon) Lewis
Will leather spinsters have to wait until next year before we're gather again after the conference? I'm unable to attend the conference this year but I would enjoy fellowshipping some other time this year. Ask the readers what they think about some other type of gathering this year. Tonie
I had to show my friends the poetry in the December newsletter it really made sense. This newsletter is kinda spooky, some of the things the readers write in about could be from my lifeand the poetry was one of them. I like the newsletter and I hope it'll always be around for spinsters no matter how spooky it gets! 25,Phoebe
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