Are Women Afraid of Singleness?



It wasn't until I began planning the single women's conference that I realized the extent many women dislike being single. I spent weeks at a time communicating or at very least attempting to communicate with other businesswomen to sell them on the idea of sponsoring the conference. I can't tell you how many times women made me feel as if I should be whispering when I spoke of the conference. The looks of shock and the rolling of eyes took me by surprise. It made me wonder what it was that had so many women out in the streets during the sixties and seventies, wasn't that the Women's Movement or better yet The Liberation Movement. For the life of me I can't see where women are genuinely liberated when it's clear so many still carry the leftover baggage of passed eras.

The women I spoke with acted as if I was peddling pornography, actually I was told by some webmistresses that the conference and the Leather Spinsters' website was offensive, therefore, they weren't interested in exchanging links much less sponsoring such an event. The only way one will ever truly learn from "mistakes" in this case lifestyle they must ask those that are offended what it is that offends. So I asked and those that replied said that the site and conference was inappropriate and degrading of unmarried women. Don't misunderstand me, I wasn't apologizing for creating such a website nor was I begging their pardon for hosting a conference that was called The First Annual International Leather Spinsters Conference. I wanted to know what it was that turned their stomachs about women that saw life as complete being single.

Their explanations were hardly complete nor acceptable by my standards but it did make me face the fact that women in general have yet to reach the point of total comfort with themselves, there are those that still find it necessary to "belong to someone else", just being their own person won't suffice. At what point will women be liberated? It makes me wonder if many really knows what that word mean, or is it they only know what it means when talking about equal rights or the workplace, being able to work in untraditional jobs for women? Now if those women who lack "liberation" saw it to mean as women they could work in untraditional jobs as their meaning of liberated then why can't they see singlehood as a positive and another untraditional venture for women to be all they can be? Also before I leave this subject I want to know what's so "bad" about the Leather Spinsters' website, was it the reference to the sexual damning word "asexuality" or how about "lifetime alone"? The fact that there are women who are offended by the term leather spinster or asexuality is strange to me, at a time when women openly call themselves bitches and hoes, leather spinster and asexuality offend.

Frankly I think what offend is the mere thought that not all women will marry whether or not they desire it, now that's the offense they were too ashamed to say.


Regena English,editor
St.Mary Publishing Company of Houston
REnglis1@aol.com


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