Yoki is a 33 year old stockbroker who enjoys luxurious vacations, designer clothing, a new Mercedes convertible and lives at home with mom and dad. Wait, lives at home with mom and dad??

Although we seldom see any video documentation or newspaper articles on this fact but the happily unmarried woman is not a cultural phenomena occuring just in North America. She's seen in many forms elsewhere such as in the very traditional country of Japan.

Japan is seeing a big change among it's thirty-something single women, otherwise known as "parasite singles". Yes, you read correctly, "parasite singles". These women are opting to remain at home with their parents as another means of remaining liberated, liberated to live the good life of plenty of money and freedom to go and do as they please.

Although most of their parents don't ask for finances from them these women feel bound to support their aging parents financially, as stated above, supporting their parents proves to be alot cheaper than trying to maintain a household on their own. Each month they are left with an surplus of cash they can put into savings, the stock market, expensive clothing, exotic sports cars, or to take vacations throughout the year.

It gets better, not only do they live at home with their parents but their mothers still cook and clean for them. Most thirty-something American women would rather die than to have mom still looking out for their needs, but, not these women. In traditional Japanese culture women are expected to leave the workplace once they're married which means if she has a successful career prior to marriage it's gone forever once she says "I Do".

Now about the mothers, where do they fit in this picture? The mothers can relate to the trade off expected of their daughters once they settle down with husbands and kids, therefore, they encourage their daughters to remain (liberated) as long as possible even if their liberation keeps them in their homes. Well one Japanese mother said, "we don't have to worry about her when she's here with us."

As I mentioned earlier these women are referred to as "parasite singles" for wanting to stay with their parents instead of doing what is expected of them culturally, go to work, find a husband, leave their jobs, make a home for kids. Keep in mind it was a man who first coined this term, which gives you an indication of how these "happily unmarried careerwomen" are viewed by their male counterparts.

Last year I saw a PBS documentary on Italian men, it featured successful (financially and career-wise) bachelors in their thirties and forties who were still living at home with their parents. These men weren't looked upon as oddities or referred to as "parasites" nor were their manhoods questioned, they were celebrated by the community inwhich they resided. There were a few who had homes of their own inwhich they lived a couple weekends a month away from their parents, yet and still no one chastised them for letting their moms cook and clean for them.

Being that Japan is a patriarchal society this trend of women forsaking marriage to stay at home with their parents is not garnering positive support from men in general, only those that are fathers of Yoki-like daughters. Yoki seem to think "parasite singles" are not liked in her country because they aren't controlled by a man, therefore they can't be dictated to like their married counterparts by their spouses. "I can think and I don't want a spouse to do the thinking for me. We (single women like her) live well and our parents live well so everybody benefits from our liberation to stay home." Yoki

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Regena English, the editor of The Leather Spinsters Newsletter (SM) at http://leatherspinsters.com and is the proud creator of Leather Spinster Wear (TM) -clothes that makes a subtle statements about female singlehood. Store #1 & Store #2

Can you learn to totally live in the moment?
Do you know what that means?
It means erase all of your personal history, so nothing will get in your way of living for the moment.

You can't remember that so-and-so used to call you a dummy -- and therefore your are.
You can't remember that your teacher told you you couldn't write or spell, and therefore you can't.
You can't remember that your school mates told you you were ugly and therefore you are.

Do you understand how important that is? If you want to live in the moment, you can't let something that is not IN THAT MOMENT be IN THAT MOMENT.

Let's say you wanted to compete in a contest. You're getting ready, but suddenly you remember something that was said long ago that doesn't support what you are doing now.

Well, you know what? That *something* is not who you are now -- that something is MAYBE who you were then. (And, actually, it really is just a MAYBE.)

Are we interested in who you were then? No. Are we interested more in the fact that you've trained for this, you can do this, you are going to do this? Yes.

Then why are you thinking about what was? Why aren't you remembering everything that supports who you are or want to be NOW, and letting old memories dissolve and disappear.

Can you do that?

Yes!

OK. Let's do it now. Here's how:

Put that old thought in a cloud -- a cloud covered with a fine mist.

Now the mist is raising the cloud. That cloud is rising higher and higher. It had something in it, didn't it? What was it? You can't see it, can you?

Oops, it's trying to poke through.

Cover it with crayons of different colors on all sides. Now, you can't see it, can you?

Ooops. You say it's still coming through?

Do you do fireworks? You know what fireworks would do to that, don't you? Kabam!

If that doesn't work, use a suction cup. Attached to the suction cup is a long string. Light the bottom of the string, and watch as the flames leap up and the whole thing burns to nothing.

Now, you realize you're doing this all in your mind, don't you? In your mind you can do anything.

DO WHATEVER IT TAKES -- within reason -- to get rid of that cloud holding that old thought. Do this: Blow up a balloon, put ALL of this in it, and then let it shoot clear up to the moon when you release the air.

You finally got rid of it, didn't you? Good.

Now, go back to living in the moment. You are at the contest. You don't remember any of that old stuff, because each time an old, unsupporting thought comes up, you let it go.

Once it's gone, concentrate on your pulse. Be very quiet until all you can hear is your pulse beat.

At this very moment, isn't your life in it's perfect place?
Isn't your health perfect?
Isn't your financial situation perfect?
Aren't your friends the perfect friends for you?

Relax and enjoy this time, and let your old negative thoughts disappear. Feel the peace and enjoy the contest.

Now, I ask you, why would you want to spend your time letting old thought patterns come up, when it feels so much better imagining a perfect life? Why not spend your time attracting that perfect life, instead of reliving your *old* life? Because if you are reliving the parts of your old life that you didn't, and don't, like, you are attracting the very things you don't want.

Copyright 2000, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

==> Learn how to use your mind! Jan Tincher, Hypnotherapist and Master Neuro-Linguistic Programmer, teaches you *unique* NLP strategies and techniques. Subscribe to FREE e-zine *Tame Your Brain!* and receive FREE *Do Butterflies Land On Your Shoulder?* -- a fantastic article on how to find peace. Click here! <== article.subscribe@tameyourbrain.com

St.Mary Publishing Company of Houston is proud to announce our two new stores that will carry exclusively the brand names and . You will find hats, caps,t-shirts, backpacks, and so much more you will be proud to own. Stop by the stores often because there will be impromptu sales occurring quite often, besides that, your support of these stores will help keep seminars, conferences, and spinster socials free of charge to those who would like to attend them. Please support us so we can support our fellow single women, can you think of a better mission for St.Mary than to reach out to other single women and empower them to be their own joyful persons? Thank you fellow spinsters for the love, care, and support from days gone and the days (and months) coming. LEATHER SPINSTER WEAR(tm) Store
SPINSTER UNIVERSITY(tm) Store
Sincerely,
Regena English

Single living in Houston?
Here's a list of all the activities going on in the wonderful city of Houston for the month of August. Find the activities that represent your lifestyle and ideas of fun. Enjoy! http://leatherspinsters.com/Houston_activities.txt

Copyright 1998-2002, St.Mary Publishing Company of Houston. All Rights Reserved. You may not use any parts of this publication without permission. St.Mary Publishing Company of Houston is not responsible for comments made by authors nor advertiser content,promises, or products. ISSN 1527-7186