A strange thing happens when a woman admits to herself that she's a spinster and don't want to change, her views change, especially about her appearance. Many spinsters have noticed a change in how they viewed their own bodies, they no longer saw their bodies as their enemies because of their imperfections but as beautiful in it's own way. Spinsterhood acts as freeing mechanism for many releasing them from the worries of looking a certain way to attract a mate, the habitual dieting and expense of buying beauty products and services that are thought to have positive effects but in reality has none.
No spinsterhood is not a excuse to neglect the body but it does force some women to stop abusing it for the sake of looking the way society at large says is attractive which could be quite harmful for many. Below is a synapsis of a letter from a "out" spinster on how she views her body now that she's comfortable being without a mate:
Prior to "outing"myself as a spinster I stayed on a diet, losing and regaining the same twenty pounds, hell I was tired of that yo-yoing of my body but what was I to do. Society said I was in need of weightloss because I couldn't wear a size 4 so I starved and took dangerous drugs my doctor gave freely, for a fee of course. I'm 34 now but this frustration went on for years, I think it started when I was 17 and a freshman in college and trying desperately to catch myself a "going somewhere man" who'll take care of me and provide the good life. Reality has brought with it a attitude that I don't need anyone to take care of me because I had been doing that by myself for almost 20 years and was successful at it too.
When I stopped running and hiding from being alone for life I saw my life as having more meaning and my body as beautiful. My whole attitude changed, looking back I spent alot of money trying to look like a supermodel which I never did, my skin was always pimply and I hid behind a mask, a thick mask of makeup. There was always something I was ashamed about when it came to my body, it being healthy and forgiving of my abusing it wasn't enough to stop the madness. Something amazing happened after I stopped beating myself silly trying to be the perfect woman, I found happiness and I lost twenty-five pounds without dieting or even trying for that fact.Over a period of 5 years the weight slowly peeled off my body, almost unnoticed by me. Hey I can't tell you how that happened but I suspect it happened because I was finally willing to accept myself and be happy inspite of not fitting into many people's idea of perfection.
Stories like the one above are common with spinsters and it's not about letting themselves go and not caring about their bodies, it's a about new appreciation for their freedom away from the hassles of looking for a husband. As byproducts of this culture women are programmed from children to behave and carry themselves in a certain manner to attract a mate, unfortunately they're taught to think that they must fit into the same physical mode as the women society hold in admiration for their beauty. The pressures of them to be like those that are held in high esteem for their beauty is so great the williness to abuse their bodies goes without concern of it's future toll.
Spinsterhood isn't a cure all for a poor body image but for many women who has chose this lifestyle it's an opportunity to switch their focus from their external to internal selves which could physically transform causing weightloss and other effects without effort. The consequences of not playing the dating game can be positive for many, those that are comfortable facing life alone, and disasterous for others. Spinsterhood is another option for women to redirect their energies towards self (inner)development. There's nothing wrong with a woman who diets or exercise to feel and look good but to think that being thin will get husbands/mates is a true sign of a low self-esteem and that in itself is a a signal of something being terribly wrong. In this case the body is being used as a shield from the real self and it's frailties, something many spinsters have had first hand experience prior to their embrace of spinsterhood.
