by Heide Kaminski
I have been a day care provider in public and private
settings for the last 14 years with short interruptions.
Most of those years were out of my own home, but
circumstances required that I work for others now. In
these years I have come across many problems, that are -
often times unintentionally - caused by parents. Day care
providers are for the most part extremely caring people.
Therefore it is not in our nature to always speak up, when
we don't like something. We try to compensate, because the
parents are our "employers", and therefore we do not like
to address issues, that may make them mad, uncomfortable
or in any way angry with us.
So I asked fellow providers and we came up with some issues
that we would all parents to consider, when they use an outside
source for day care.
Day care providers do not make a ton of money, as it may
seem. Especially if the income is the only source as in
the case of single moms. There are a lot of expenses that
are not so obvious such as glue, napkins and a million of
other supplies that help make the experience for the
children not only fun, but also educational.
ILLNESS:
Does it may you feel good, knowing, that your child will
cry all day, because he does not feel good, and only Mommy
can make him feel better? PLEASE don't bring your child,
if she is ill. Even if he/she does not exactly meet the
rules for not coming to day care.
POTTY TRAINING:
If you want your child to be potty trained, you cannot
solely rely on the provider. You have to be consistent at
home as well. Even if that means a few pee spots on your
beige carpet!Please don't put your child in diapers! Use
pull-ups, if you are worried about accidents, but stay
away from those diapers once you start training. Don't
confuse your child and call the pull-ups diapers. Make
your child feel proud of himself for being big. And as far
as clothing is concerned: in the winter time - sweat pants
and shirts, in the summer shorts and t-shirts!!! No cute
one-piece outfits (including onesies), topped off by no
buttons along the legs... PLEASE!
CLOTHING:
One piece outfits with no buttons, or the kind that have
buttons along the legs, but then the ankle part is one
piece again, who came up with that dumb idea??? Have the
manufacturers ever tried changing a poopy diaper with that
kind of outfit? Your day care provider ha a lot more
diapers to change in a day's work, than you do with one
child at home... Little loops on the shoulders to hold
straps in place may look nice, but I wish someone would
come up with velcro instead... Those kind of outfits, cute
as they may be, do not belong on a child in day care!
Also, if you want your child to look clean, when he/she
comes home - send a good outfit, call the provider 15
minutes, before you arrive and ask her to change your
child's clothes. My top-favorite father was the one who
stated: "I expect my son to come home dirty from day care!
Otherwise I have to assume that you made him sit in a
corner all day and be bored!" He had the right idea! (From
th same parent I received the request to put a drop of hot
sauce on his sons tongue if he used foul language. That he
had picked up from an alcoholic relatives parrot - yes,
the bird... I never had to use hot sauce, I just had to
show it to the little boy).
PAYMENT AND PICK-UPON TIME:
You expect your employer to give you your paycheck - come
rain or shine - on a certain day. Have the same respect
for your day care provider. Don't pick up your child late.
Whether you drop your child off at 7:30 a.m. or at 10,
your providers day is v-e-r-y long. So if the day care
closes at a certain time, BE THERE. If you absolutely
can't make it, offer a valuable compensation, even if
there is no late fee in the contract. It's just like you
expect overtime pay, if you have to work extra time!
NAP/REST TIME:
If you bring your child late, please keep in mind that
most day cares have a nap time. There is no way around it,
whether your preschooler likes it or not, he needs a nap.
Heck, we adult would love to have the opportunity to take
a nap in the middle of the day! If your child comes in at
10, and you know that at 1 o'clock "lights are out", don't
let your child sleep till 9:55! As I mentioned before,
your provider's day is very long. Nap time is usually the
only time we can re-energize, take care of paperwork, do
day care dishes, maybe even sneak in a few minutes of just
sitting down...
CHANGES:
Even minor changes can effect a child's behavior. Big
changes such as a move, a new sibling, abuse, vacation,
absence of one parent, pending divorce can severely effect
a child's behavior in a negative way. The provider needs
to know! I does not have anything to do with being nosy,it
has to do with how to deal with your child. Temper
tantrums or meanness towards others are not acceptable,
but if we know what might be the cause, we can more
effectively deal with your child. if we know that the
problem is caused by something other than a normal
developmental stage, we can work with your child in the
proper way.
We can talk about what might be bothering the
child, when lovingly disciplining. For example: "I know
Mommy is gone right now on a business trip, so maybe I can
give you an extra hug, but you may not hit..." By law,
educators, social workers, day care workers, etc. are
required to report any suspicion of abuse. I know that a
wrongful accusation can cause a lot of heart aches.
Several years ago, while working in a public day care, we
reported a little girl, who had too many bruises all the
time.
Eventually it turned out, that she just easily
bruised, but by that time her parents and their daughter
were heart broken, because of all the trouble they went
through, because we did not know about her condition. In
my own daycare I spent one day in the ER with a little
girl with a dislocated shoulder. I thought or sure, I
would loose my license, and never feel good about myself
again. All I had done, was to let her hang from the monkey
bars on my playground. Fortunately that case was solved
quickly and amicably: she had a bone disorder that caused
her joints to pop out of place easily. Her parents were
very supportive of me. but I never let the child hang from
the monkey bars again...
Even if you think some information may not be necessary
for the provider to know, or if you are too embarrassed by
something (for example your 2 year old witnessed daddy
hitting mommy, or walked in on the two of you having sex)
please let the provider know. It's for your own child's
sake!
Your day care provider is one of the most important
persons in our child's life next to you yourself. Treat
her with loving respect and dignity as you would like to
be treated. And don't all her a "babysitter". In the name
of all day care providers: THANK YOU!
****************************************************
EMAIL
|
|
|
|