Leather Spinsters Newsletter October 2002 Edition

Leather Spinsters Newsletter October 2002 Edition

Inside this Newsletter

1. Newsletter Agenda
2. Articles

    A. Focus On The Joy
3. Spinster Letters

Caps,shirts, clocks, and so much
more for the "smarty pants" in your
life. Thoughtful gifts that uplifts and
celebrate those special women.
Make the holidays UNFORGETTABLE.

Newsletter Agenda

The articles featured in this newsletter are done so as tools inwhich you can apply in your own life, to purposefully create the life you desire. Yes you may find occasional articles exploring the lifestyles of other single women, but the main purpose is to supply you the reader with as many methods of pursuing your life goals as possible. All too often we live by "accident", experiencing a mixed bag of unconscious intentions with halfhearted wishes for something better. Now you can exercise a choice in the kind of life you want. See and use this publication for all the good it can offer you to change your life in major and satisfying ways. Let go of the notion you can't "have it all", whatever "having it all" may mean to you, on the basis you're single, female, and over the age of 30.

Focus On The Joy

It's the Holiday Season --A new year is just around the corner! I'll bet you're already thinking about how you'd like next year to be a little different than the last, right? (yes, I see hands raising!)

But instead of thinking of performance, and efficiency, and control, I'd like you to take this opportunity to think about how many things in your daily life do you do "just for the joy of it"?

What I'm talking about here is value-based happiness (as opposed to temporary happiness).

Value-based happiness refers to the general feeling of well being that you experience when you are doing what you perceive to be meaningful --when it's something that's important to you.

When you do things for the Joy of It, you'll rise above problems, and move easier through life. When you love what you do, you naturally become more efficient. Make sense?

Value Based happiness is a by product from living a life Focused on the Joy. It is the by product of doing things not for what you get in return, not because you "should" or "have-to", but because you WANT to, because they are a part of your highest goals, and what you value. Value based happiness comes from looking at things with your heart, not just your eyes.

You create value based happiness by Focusing on the Joy of life, instead of racing to the next feel-good thrill.

So how do you Focus on the Joy?

Usually when you're expressing your values, when you're expressing what's important to you, and living out your highest goals, you'll feel joy. So you're giving to others at virtually no cost to you. When YOU experience joy, others around you feel it too.

With that in mind, what if I told you to throw out all your ideas about control, effectiveness, and goals?

Instead ---

Focus On Learning. Instead of making a goal to achieve more in your job, decide instead to read and learn how to do one new thing each week.

Focus on Time. Schedule your time to include what's important to you, like reading time, or exercise time, or family time, or learning time.

Focus on the Why. Instead of just forcing yourself to mop the kitchen floor, tap into the higher goal that mopping the kitchen floor supports (having a clean and healthy home).

How does that feel? Not bad, huh! If you focus on the pleasure that a desire gives you, you'll find it easier to put in the work that it takes. (One author gives the example of giving blood - while the experience itself may be less than pleasant, the joy comes in knowing *why* you're doing it)

And I absolutely guarantee that you will achieve more, maintain your efforts, and have a much better journey along the way.

Over the next 12 months, instead of focusing on the effort, FOCUS ON THE JOY. Focus on the people and things that are most important to you. Focus on the pleasure you get out of moving towards your goals. Focus on the process of creating something, not what results you expect.

Invest in yourself more than you ever thought was allowed. Not only will you reap rewards, but those around you will benefit more than you ever believed.

Kathy Gates, Professional Life Coach, is the author of several E-books and Coaching Programs designed to help people solve Real Life Challenges, and live Happier, Easier, Better Lives. See her books and programs online at www.reallifecoach.com, email Kathy@reallifecoach.com, or call to chat with Kathy about how a Life Coach can benefit your life at 480.998.5843.

Spinster Letters

    Limitations & Risk Taking

Miss English I would like to thank you for the work your doing with this publication. It seem to always answer a need in my life. The Limitations & Risk Taking article was right on. I was battling a situation in my life at the time I read that article and it made me look at my situation with new eyes. I thank you for the quality reading you call a newsletter. Sincerely Blanca

    Some Women

I recently read through the archives and I really liked the articles Younger Women Versus Older Women & Some Women, both were of sheer honesty. Today more than ever we need honesty among women. Especially since we like to lie about what we really think of each other. It is true women quietly find fault with each other in every area of our lives including the workplace. Yeah I know the feminists tell us we are each others best friend and supporter but that is hardly true. Somewhere in the back of our minds we think all women can not be successful in their lives without making another unsuccessful. In Younger women versus Older women you highlighted the unfair and negative attitudes of women finding fault in the life decisions of each other. Some Women focused on the positive showing some women consciously choosing to rise above the workplace female bickerings so everybody could be successful. I commend you on your articles.Connie

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Copyright 1998-2002, St.Mary Publishing Company of Houston (SM). All Rights Reserved. You may not use any parts of this publication without permission. St.Mary Publishing Company of Houston(SM) is not responsible for comments made by authors nor advertiser content,promises, or products. ISSN 1527-7186