Leather Spinsters Newsletter December 2006 Edition

Leather Spinsters Newsletter


Inside this Newsletter

1. Articles

    A. 9 Myths About Being Single at Christmas
2. Note from Editor
3. Emails

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Everyone seek the key to happiness outwardly
but only the wise know it lies within.!
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9 Myths About Being Single at Christmas

More than 48% of US households are headed by unmarried individuals. The American Association for Single People projects that by 2010, 47.2% of adults will be unmarried. Being single does not mean being alone, nor does being in a couple for the holidays insure happiness. Let's dispel some myths!

Myth: Single people are lonely at Christmas.
Reality: No moreso than anyone else. This is a projection of people who fear "being alone for the holidays," a fear of the unknown.

Myth: Single people need you to invite them over to your celebration.
Reality: Contrary to perceptions, single people are v. popular at Christmas, and we generally receive lots of invitations. If you want us over, invite us, but because you like us, not because you think we need it.

Myth: Single people don't know what to do for the holidays.
Reality: On the contrary, we are used to planning our social lives actively, good at generating options, and used to making unilateral decisions. We're pros!

Myth: Single people are available to perform certain social tasks during the holiday celebration.
Reality: We like to be cherished guests. We don't like to be the steer among the bulls - invited to get people who don't get along off of one another's throats. If you don't like your family and friends, why would we? "Can you come over and help out with Aunt Edna?" is not an invitation.

Myth: Single people are available to do certain physical tasks during the holiday celebration.
Reality: Nor is this an invitation: "It's John's in-laws and I want to impress them. Can you come over and help with the hors d'oeuvres?" As best-friend, yes; as the only working-guest, absolutely not.

Myth: Single people are misfits, outsiders.
Reality: On the contrary, most of us have highly developed Emotional Intelligence skills; that's the reason we get the 'rescue us' invitations! Outsiders? It's about half the adult world now. Take another look!

Myth: If a single person isn't part of a couple, or doesn't spend Christmas with a couple or family, they will be miserable.
Reality: Come on now. Is it so horrible to celebrate Christmas on a cruise to the Caribbean, coming back rested, tanned and relaxed?

Myth: The only "happy" way to spend the holidays is if you are a couple or part of a family.
Reality: If that were so, half the articles on the Internet this time of year wouldn't be about how to cope with the annual holiday dinner with the relatives, and the divorce rate in the US wouldn't be 50%.

Myth: Single people have "nowhere to go" for the holidays.
Reality: Nowhere to go? We have everywhere to go! I loved my years as Mrs. Santa. Now I'm on-the-go. I'm thinking about Germany this year. There are so many places to go I can't decide!!

In fact I have so many neat ideas for spending Christmas on-your-own, if you're stuck email me!

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Susan Dunn, http://www.susandunn.cc, helps women attract their dream mate, and get married. She is Attract Your Dream Man Expert for a major website, and the author of "How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams and Marry Him." She offers individual coaching, Internet courses and ebooks. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for fr** ezine.

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Note from Editor

The Leather Spinsters Newsletter has been in existence for nine wonderful but difficult years. Its focus has changed considerably from how society sees single women to living on purpose.

During the past few months I've received many loving emails from loyal readers asking if the newsletter has gone away permanently. Let me ease your minds, the newsletter is still around but due to the growth of other dimensions associated with St.Mary Publishing Company of Houston the publishing dates have been changed from monthly to quarterly. These changes are for the good.

Here we are at the end of the year, a time when most people look back over their annual progress and forward to "what can be" for the next year and I want to share something with you. Dear readers, I can't help but feel thankful for your support via donations, purchased clothing and gifts, and yes even for taking time out of your busy days to send me emails.

I want to share with you some of 2006 progress because you helped to make it possible. Would you believe that the The Leather Spinsters website is averaging 154,500 monthly visitors? It's true and here's another milestone, in July our 1 millionth visitor had stopped by. One million site visitors, wow.

I'm awestruck by the support I've received, not just this year, but in all the years since the inception of The Leather Spinsters Newsletter by both men and women alike who were comforted by this publication. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
Sincerely,
Regena English

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Emails

Regena I saw the movie The Secret like you suggested and I still don't get how it relates to me being happy as a single woman. Sara

Sara it relates to all of us consciously making life a joyous experience for ourselves. Be it intentional or unintentional, we're always creating the world around us in subtle ways. How it relates to being happy and single is simple. We can choose to paint one poor, poor me situation after another until our time on this planet is up, or, we could live a WOW GLAD TO BE ALIVE life. Our feelings and thoughts are the determining factors. Does it mean you will never have a down moment? No, but when you do you can create that silver lining to lift yourself from the funk. It takes practice, practice, practice so as to make it a habit.

Regena words can hardly describe my feelings since you changed the format. I know it sounds cliche-ish. I have to agree with you, women must stop letting others create their lives and do it themselves. My life is great because I stopped taking to heart other people's opinions about my life. Thank you. Cynthia

I was so depressed with my life. It wasnt just being single that was a big dumper but the not having anything to look forward to was mind numbing. I saw The Secret and i thought it was too simpolistic about life but with each viewing i could see the lite at the end of the tunnel. Happy you wrote about the movie.Dora

Have to be honest I thought you became a New Age crack when you started "the change your reality" trek. How fruity and lame. I subscribed to Leather Spinsters Newsletter because I was angry with how society saw a forty year old single woman and wanted other women to be angry too. There was a emptiness that I needed filled and I sought solace with the newsletter but you stopped being angry.The change of direction as you put it just did not compute. I unsubscribed. Over and over I would find myself visiting the site to read and reread newsletters hoping you were in a passing phase. You never reverted back to being angry.

Well I have come around. I have allowed my anger to leave, I am not angry anymore and I most certainly do not want angry people around me. The Secret was very enlightening. Another tidbit I can add to the enrichment of my life. I understand your change of direction NOW. I, we, create by the thoughts we entertain and the universe gives them physical form. No more excuses for why we have bad relationships, loneliness, depression, financial upheavals. What we see as our lives is what we have created through thought, period! Thanks for the change of direction. Dee Dee

Regina I've not received a newsletter in months is everything ok? It saddens me to think the newsletter is gone because my life has benefitted tremendously from reading it every month. In April you wrote about Fear and it had a ring of truth to me. I didn't know a day without "what ifs" ruling it. When I read that article I was moved to live one hour at a time without fear. Then one day without fear. Then a week without fear. Now I live everyday in the moment without fear. I love what you said:

    "There comes a time when you must determine if fear is real or not. Here's a clue, if it's not immediate it's not real."
April brought changes in my life only a person who has lived perpetually in "what ifs" could appreciate. I noticed a difference in how I dealt with being laid off from my job. I applied for a position I always believed I could do but was intimiated by the job title and pay. I was laid off and within a few days I had my dream job. Had I not read the article I would have avoided applying there because of fear of rejection. It's the best paying job I've ever had and I credit it to disarming the "what if" fear that ruled my life.

That's not all. I did like everybody else in January I made a New Year's resolution, mine was to be happier. How do you make a resolution to be happier? I did and lasted til February. Since reading the article I've discovered I'm the happiest I've been as an adult. It's possible when you don't spend your life constantly asking "what if" I fail, what if I can't pay my bills, what if I stay a spinster, what if I miss out on on what somebody else says is worth experiencing. All in all it's a unhappy life when your afraid.

Of all the articles in the newsletter and all the years of reading other people's testimonials the Fear article made the difference. Regina if you never release another newsletter again I want you to know I sincerely appreciated the Leather Spinsters Newsletter. Debbie,45

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