When Dan walked out on me I thought I was going to die. We had been married for twenty years. In my world people stayed married. To find myself divorced after so many years was a shock.

I had no children,no husband, and a life full of loneliness. Old friends avoided me and those times when they were in my presence I was treated like a pariah. I was the same person I had been years before my husband left so what was different about me afterwards?

I had to change to accommodate my situation and those who knew me from another time and place were unfamiliar with the new developing me. I don't fault them anymore. Now I can see my growth.

My growth started when I learned to cope with the divorce. I dealt with the anger and feelings of betrayal smothering my heart. Then I started rebuilding my goals in life. After spending years idle as a housewife I found the courage to go back to school.

I made friends with others who had something in common with me, over forty and unmarried. Was I happy by then? Partially but something was still missing. Thanks to one of my (new) friends I was able to see my spiritual side needed nourishment. I joined my neighborhood church but my membership there were short lived. Church members thought I was peculiar for not wanting to attend their singles activities.

Desperate to attend church I followed my friend to her church. It was the best thing I could have ever done. My life is complete with family,friends,a career,and a healthy relationship with my Heavenly Father. Who would have ever known such a simple formula would equal happiness. So many of us think if we could land the perfect man or job we would be happy. It takes balance in our lives to truly be happy

As a married woman I thought I was happy because I had a husband. Would you believe I felt sorry for single women when I was married? I thought," gee I hope the poor things find someone before they get too old." Finding myself as one of those "poor things" was humbling in its own way. I can remember my sister who is a few years younger than myself telling me to get back on the horse. After finding peace within and outside of myself I don't want to get back on the horse. I am truly happy and would not trade this happiness for the "just existing" marriage I had before. Life is good when you work on all and not just part of yourself. This is the key to finding lasting peace!

Doriece Watkins is a 49 year old laboratory technician in Houston.