Leather Spinsters Newsletter February 2001 Edition

Happy Valentines' Day

Inside this Newsletter

1. Articles

    A. Valentines' Day
2. Spinsters Letters
3. Advertisements
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Valentines' Day

Valentine’s Day is known as “the day for lovers”, chocolatey candies and roses. It is also considered on of the most distressing days for single women who’ve yet to embrace it on their terms.

Embrace it?
Yes! If you’re one of the many women who are depressed or ashamed for not having a love to send you candies and flowers you can attach some other significance to this day.

Make it a day of expressing your love and gratitude to those who has brought you valuable support and care. They can be parents, siblings, a best friend, a co-worker, exercise instructor, or the next door neighbor. This day should have more meaning to it then it being a day for those who are “in love”.

Two years ago a group of “dateless” women gathered at a local Bennigan for some small talk and snacks. What they started was another way to spend Valentine’s Day. Laughter, small talk, and support from those who can understand the feelings of “isolation” when without partners on this holy day for lovers.

There are those who visit hospitals and elderly homes to pass out Valentine favors to the residents. Showing love and giving attention to people who know all too often how it feel to not have a soul in the world to care about them.

She made time to read a book that had rested on her bookshelf for six months, purchased a new cd and treated herself to a freshly prepared gourmet meal. This was Connie Vee’s way of dealing with being alone on Valentine’s Day. A successful financial planner in New York who discovered a few years ago she had reason to celebrate February 14th, it was a day she could honor her chosen solitude.

She learned to value not dread Valentine’s Day like so many of her contemporaries. Planning would begin a week prior on how she would spend the day leaving nothing for chance. While other perpetually single women moan and groan on February 14th about not having a love interest she’s happily entertaining herself.

There are also those who, like those on the leather spinsters email list, will be spending the day pampering themselves from head to toe. I’m sure there will be purchases of chocolates, roses, cologne, computers, and gourmet dinners.

Computers? Yeah why not? This will be the day to spoil oneself with frivulous gifts. Hey this is a gift you can use for non-frivulous activities too so it will serve two purposes.

Whatever you decide to do on this revered day let it be productive and count towards your self-esteem. Don’t spend your day whining about those who have husbands and boyfriends, instead find your way of dealing with it in a constructive manner. Unless you like how it feels to wallow in self-pity and shame make a point to find joy in being you and stay occupied. Appreciate every day of this year and yes that includes Valentine’s Day!

How will you be spending this day??
“I’ll be walking through the park as usual with my dog. Maybe afterwards I’ll stop by the store for popcorn and a movie.” Elizabeth Sanchio

“Going out to dinner with some friends. There’s nothing like good food and conversation!” Taylorann

“Every year I buy cards and candy for my nieces and parents to let them know I love them.” Yuncie

“I’m going to a Valentine’s Ball for stag singles. It’s getting me out of the house and supporting charity all at the same time.”Terry

“ Mom and I will be attending bible study afterwards I will give her a Valentine’s card and candy. Since Dad passed she sometimes get lonely on Valentine so I do this to remind her I’m still here and love her.” Theresa

“My sister and I give a get together at our home for some laughs and junk food with friends. I love this time of year we have so much fun.” Vinnie (Vinecia) “This is one ocassion I allow myself to splurge on myself. I will treat myself to a gourmet lobster meal and wine. My diet can withstand this one night so I’ll also get dessert.” Lois

“A limo, sinful meal, delivered roses and Godiva chocolates all for ME!” Torrie

“Last year I bought myself a diamond ring and designer dress just for the ocassion. If it’s ok for me to toot my own horn, I looked gorgeous. Maybe I’ll do it again this year!” Lisa

“My best friend is a unattached man who likes to have fun. Valentine’s Day justifies our goofing off in the middle of the week. “ Florence

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    Spinster Letters

    Fellow Readers,
    I liked what I read last month about single women taking control of their lives. This woman author whoever she is must be married to take such a staunch view of female happiness. When will it be ok to be happy regardless of marital mode?41,Beth

    You did not mention the name of the book or its author. I'm willing to bet she is married, one has to be in order to feel justified in looking down their noses at single women. You made a valid point when you stated, "When you're happy with yourself you will be able to generate happiness for others, thus attracting potential spouses who share your disposition." That is quite true, if only women would accept it as fact they would find circumstances (marriage for those who want it) would fall into their lives. Nora Louise

    Excerpt from article:"making a blanket statement the only way a woman could be happy is to be married is nonesense. Life without a husband can be beautiful too just ask those who are genuine in their happiness, it's all in how you perceive the meaning of the terms joy and happiness. "
    Amen! I enjoy the company of men, but, the foundation or should I say the source of my happiness lies within me. Genuinely happy, that's me. I can't imagine women drudgingly existing but I know there are many. 37,Bea

    Regena, I know professional women (doctors) who think they are not successful because they lack husbands. Their self-loathing goes so deep no amount of pep talk could change their ignorance. You are right, men would not accept blanket statements such as the one voiced by the book's author. Dr. Denise Heimerstein

    The author's perspective must be examined before her position on the issue could be addressed. I don't know if she is married but it sounds as if she is which would explain her ideology. Unfortunately, her logic have loopholes. Look at the divorce rate, how could any woman be happy if she's going through a divorce, doesn't matter who initiated the divorce. It's illogical to think I or any other woman could go from a state of happy to happier by a piece of paper, or by having a man in the picture. You are either happy or not, there are no degrees of happy.Terrie

    WOW, I use to believe all of my success in my life wouldn't add up to the joy of being married. I married and stayed married for eighteen years, I discovered I was wrong. I know this is a cliche' but," happiness is not found on the outside, it is within." There is nothing wrong with marriage, but I know any comments made by a single woman against the book would be seen as bitterness for not being married. I disagree with the book's stance happiness is equated with being married because it's not. 51,Victoria

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