Leather Spinsters Newsletter February 2002 Edition

Leather Spinsters Newsletter February 2002 Edition


Inside this Newsletter

Articles

    Young Women Vs Older Women
    Valentine's Day Again, Yippee!!!
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Young Women Vs Older Women

Does it really matter which road women take to success just as long as they reach their goals without demoralizing themselves in the process?

Recently Oprah did a show on What Younger Women Thought About Older Women based on an article in Mode Magazine by Suzanne Braun Levin,inwhich, older women accused their younger counterparts of being impatient and unappreciative of the sacrifices of older women.

    "What [younger women] have to understand is that we had to make a choice between family and work, and if we tried to push both of those in the same life, we had to compartmentalize. ... All we want to hear from them is 'Thank you."Suzanne Braun Levine, former editor of Ms. Magazine

    "The biggest criticism that older women have with younger women is they want it all too fast. All they know is 'Let me at it. I can do the job, let me do it now,' ...that whole sense of entitlement."Carole Hyatt, career woman, author and mother of a 30-year-old

Older women of all people should be able to understand who and what it took for this country to be the land of opportunity that it is today. Instead, many are tapping their feet with impatience waiting to hear thank you from younger women as if it were owed to them. How presumptuous of them to assume every young woman is indebted to them for the struggles they endured to be the women they are today. The only people they should expect words of gratitude from are those they actually helped along the way.

Somehow I don't think these successful women would demand as much "thankfulness" from their sons for birthing them as much as they are from younger women they don't know. Yes we should always be thankful for the aid given by others to us,but, the logic used on Oprah was based on simplemindedness.

If only they would honestly look back twenty-five years and remember who they once were. They would see themselves as twenty or thirty-something women dreaming and striving to live as independent go-getters like the twenty and thirty-something women they were criticizing on the show.

Something I found interesting was how women on the show was successful in their own right but yet was ready to smite others for not pursuing success as they did. Carol Hyatt said her daughter wanted too much too soon and was aggressive in how she ran her promotions business as opposed to her who liked being the "Queen Bee" in her company. She's so blinded by the fact her daughter is approaching business differently than herself,she's not seeing the big picture which is she's succeeding in her job.

Young women on the other hand complained about older women not being open to change, new ideas, and are too serious in the workplace. I can remember feeling intrigued witnessing the dialogue, two generations of women finding faults in one another's success rather than celebrating them. I couldn't help but think men don't have these issues so why are women snapping at each other's differences and contributions?

The Generation Xers on the show felt as if someone owed them something, they have everything but yet are still empty with blame. Actually, I was left with the impression they weren't sure of their complaints with older women. Alison Stewart went so far as to say she wished they would grow old gracefully, which is totally irrelevant. Another complaint logged, they don't reach back.

Ok lets be fair, all women in positions that could help other women don't do so, some out of fear of being upstaged, as was mentioned by the mother who liked being the Queen Bee. Then you have those who can sense the deceit in the women under them. Why would they reach back and pull someone up the career ladder with them if the only people they have to chose from are those that have disdain towards them, one would be insane to do so?

Whenever statements concerning older women were made they started with a compliment then a big "but", which cancels out the compliment. There will come a day inwhich those vocal young women will be the older women of tomorrow and they too will have an accusing finger in their face. Why? No matter how pious they find themselves towards their fellow woman, their imperfections will be seen and faulted, identical to what older women are facing in 2002.

    The quality I don't admire in some Baby Boom women is that they don't reach back. There's not that girls' club the way there is the boys' club. I've encountered some women who don't want to help. The thing that I think is sort of bonkers of Baby Boom women is this relentless pursuit of youth. I wish they could grow old gracefully and really accept it."Alison Stewart, 35, news anchor.

    "I do think that young women have a responsibility to know our history, [and] to engage [older women] and find out what it was like, and say thank you. But [older women] also have the responsibility to find out what our lives are like."Jennifer Baumgardner, in her 30's, co-author

Those young women complaining about the seriousness of older women need to take heed. Had they spent their time blurring the fine lines between work and play they wouldn't be the successes they are today because no one would've took them seriously nor found them productive. The general purpose of work is to earn a living in exchange for labor. You can't be productive if you're using that time to play.

My questions are, did either group decide, "hey I'm pursuing my career to make a way for other women?" Probably not, so why is it so much bitterness between the two generations of women?

I believe Oprah put a spotlight on a nasty but hidden truth how some women relate to each other in the workplace; mistrust, resentment, and overly critical of each other. You would think the opposite would be true but having witnessed the backstabbing and cruel remarks by women to women in the workplace I can honestly say Oprah aired out some dirty laundry.

GIVE A MAN A FISH FEED HIM FOR A DAY. TEACH A MAN TO FISH FEED HIM FOR LIFE.

The show lacked a certain group of women, those women who have come to understand that their power to freedom, opportunities, and prosperity comes from within first then exhibits itself outwardly. These women don't see it as surrendering of their power to reach back and pull others (who are ready to move) up the ladder with them.

This missing group (from the show, that is) of women find it easy to be thankful to all those, male and female, who had vision and determination to live on their own accord, inspite of living in a world of shortsighted individuals with limited ambitions. These men and women who are deserving of their gratitude taught them through example, how to fish for their dreams successfully.

The show lacked graciousness and awareness that contributions of both men and women of every race, religion, and profession helped to make "outward" opportunities for this society (America, the Land Of Opportunity) possible.

Does it really matter which road women take to success just as long as they reach their goals without demoralizing themselves in the process?

by Regena English

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SPINSTER LETTERS

Regena:
My daytime job is in the corporate headquarters of very large corporate America. We are a traditional company, preponderously male, except for the department in which I work. My department is headed by a woman and is slightly over half female. It is a group of women who consider themselves equal. Yet, the old woman in the crowd (me) sees the subtle, unintentional, ways in which they subconsciously undermine themselves. The most glaring example is allowing male co-workers to interrupt a conference while such behavior from a woman is unacceptable. Thanks, Regena. Another article that NEEDS to be read and considered carefully. Jane,www.spiritualsisters.com,www.hopeandspirit.com

Leather Spinsters,
You know what I don't get, how people put so much faith in other people and not themselves? When I read last month's article "Is Equality Possible for Women?" I thought wow it had never dawn on me I was setting myself up for a fall. God didn't make anyone else any better than me. Why place such a heavy burden like my personal beliefs of fairness out there for someone else to interprete for my betterment. Thanks for pointing out many women's mistake.Bethanne

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Couldn't agree more with Is Equality Possible. Women are so use to other people handling their problems it's weakening and making us inapt.Jessica

Regena
I've never thought about equality in those terms before. What an eye opener!44,Paulie

That's one interpretation the feminists overlooked when rallying for the Equal Rights Amendment.Lorel

Regina we need more fair no-nonsense women like you. Maybe women will stop blaming all men for the injustices they face in this world and look at themselves.William "Bill"

An Asexual Story, what was you thinking Mister Bell? Claire

Regena,
An Asexual Story typifies asexual women as being confused lesbians what a insult!Terrie

Where is it written an asexual story has to constantly try to convince the reader its characters are asexual as if it's an impossible stretch of the imagination. Not placing any direct focus on sex give the story some credence. Instead authors should opt to expose how the character thrive ,inspite, of not encouraging the sexual attention being directed at them and not because of it. Being ever so careful as to not turn the characters into repressed nymphs or lesbians bursting with caged energy. Felicia

I must admit I don't know many asexuals but the two women I do know would be furious of yet another protrayal of them as closeted lesbians.24,Timothia

Miss English,
An Asexual Story wasn't what I expected but I did find the premise typical from a male writer. I think women being overly fond of each is a turn on for some guys. An Asexual Story was just that a guys' fantasy, not a story about asexual women.Reece



Valentine's Day Again,Yippee!

Ok, so you don't feel enthusiastic about Valentine's Day as an romantically unattached person. Have you ever thought about why it is you dread this one day out of the year? If you're like most, you feel awkward amid a sea of couples. Word to the wise, don't let your singleness prevent you from seeing this day as special.

For far too long Valentine's Day has been interpreted as a "day for lovers" or romance. Now is the time to turn that notion around and see it as a day of appreciation. Why a day of appreciation? We tend to take acts of kindness and generosity from others for granted, assuming it's their responsibility to be kind. News flash, people aren't required to be nice to each other.

In this era of "road rage" don't let another Valentine's Day pass inwhich you fail to let those softhearted people in your life know how much you appreciate their acts of humanity. Write a simple letter, place a phone call, mail a Valentine's card, share some candy, or better yet extend a lunch invitation to this person (s) who saw fit to recognize you as someone special in this impersonal world.

After you've shown your appreciation to others do something just for you. Use your imagination and do something really fun. Why not treat yourself to being chauffered to a play and dinner? Short on cash? An evening of pampering yourself from head to toe would be great. Don't spend another Valentine's Day feeling sorry for yourself because you're without a date. Instead, see it as "Appreciation Day",a day set aside to show love and gratitude to both yourself and others. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

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