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By Regena English
Although we seldom see any video documentation or newspaper articles on
this fact but the happily unmarried woman is not a cultural phenomena occuring
just in North America. She's seen in many forms elsewhere such as in the very
traditional country of Japan.
Japan is seeing a big change among it's thirty-something single women,
otherwise known as "parasite singles". Yes, you read correctly, "parasite
singles". These women are opting to remain at home with their parents as
another means of remaining liberated, liberated to live the good life of plenty
of money and freedom to go and do as they please.
Although most of their parents don't ask or want finances these women feel
bound to support their aging parents financially, as stated above, supporting
their parents proves to be alot cheaper than trying to maintain a household
on their own. Each month they are left with an surplus of cash they can put
into savings, the stock market, expensive clothing, exotic sports cars, or to
take vacations throughout the year.
It gets better, not only do they live at home with their parents but their
mothers still cook and clean for them. Most thirty-something American
women would rather die than to have mom still looking out for their needs,
but, not these women. In traditional Japanese culture women are expected
to leave the workplace once they're married which means if she has a
successful career prior to marriage it's gone forever once she says "I Do".
Now about the mothers, where do they fit in this picture? The mothers can
relate to the trade off expected of their daughters once they settle down with
husbands and kids, therefore, they encourage their daughters to remain
(liberated) as long as possible even if their liberation keeps them in their
homes. Well one Japanese mother said, "we don't have to worry about her
when she's here with us."
As I mentioned earlier these women are referred to as "parasite singles" for
wanting to stay with their parents instead of doing what is expected of them
culturally, go to work, find a husband, leave their jobs, make a home for kids.
Keep in mind it was a man who first coined this term, which gives you an
indication of how these "happily unmarried careerwomen" are viewed by their
male counterparts.
Last year I saw a PBS documentary on Italian men, it featured successful
(financially and career-wise) bachelors in their thirties and forties who were
still living at home with their parents. These men weren't looked upon as
oddities or referred to as "parasites" nor were their manhoods questioned,
they were celebrated by the community inwhich they resided. There were a
few who had homes of their own inwhich they lived a couple weekends a
month away from their parents, yet and still no one chastised them for letting
their moms cook and clean for them.
Being that Japan is a patriarchal society this trend of women forsaking
marriage to stay at home with their parents is not garnering positive support
from men in general, only those that are fathers of Yoki-like daughters. Yoki
seem to think "parasite singles" are not liked in her country because they
aren't controlled by a man, therefore they can't be dictated to like their married
counterparts by their spouses. "I can think and I don't want a spouse to do
the thinking for me. We (single women like her) live well and our parents live
well so everybody benefits from our liberation to stay home." Yoki
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Regena English, the editor of The Leather Spinsters Newsletter (SM) at
http://leatherspinsters.com
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