Leather Spinsters Newsletter July 2000 Edition

Leather Spinsters Newsletter July 2000 Edition

Inside this Newsletter

1. Articles

    A. Doriece
    B. Woman of Inspiration: Carol James
2. Spinster Letters
3. What's Happening?
4. Advertisements
5. Helpful Hints
6. Advertisements, Newsletters and Ezines

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When Dan walked out on me I thought I was going to die. We had been married for twenty years. In my world people stayed married. To find myself divorced after so many years was a shock.

I had no children,no husband, and a life full of loneliness. Old friends avoided me and those times when they were in my presence I was treated like a pariah. I was the same person I had been years before my husband left so what was different about me afterwards?

I had to change to accommodate my situation and those who knew me from another time and place were unfamiliar with the new developing me. I don't fault them anymore. Now I can see my growth.

Growth started when I learned to cope with the divorce. I dealt with the anger and feelings of betrayal that crowded my heart. Then I started rebuilding my goals in life. After spending years idle as a housewife I found the courage to go back to school.

I made friends with others who had something in common with me, over forty and unmarried. Was I happy by then? Partially but something was still missing. Thanks to one of my (new) friends I was able to see my spiritual side needed nourishment. I joined my neighborhood church but my membership there were short lived. Church members thought I was peculiar for not wanting to attend their singles activities.

Desperate to attend church I followed my friend to her church. That was the best thing I could have ever done. My life is complete with family,friends,a career,and a healthy relationship with my Heavenly Father. Who would have ever known such a simple formula would equal happiness. So many of us think if we could land that perfect man or job we would be happy. It takes balance in our lives to truly be happy

As a married woman I thought I was happy because I had a husband. Would you believe I felt sorry for single women when I was married? I thought," gee I hope the poor things find someone before they get too old." Finding myself as one of those "poor things" was humbling in its own way. I can remember my sister who is a few years younger than myself telling me to get back on the horse. After finding peace within and outside of myself I don't want to get back on the horse. I am truly happy and would not trade this happiness for the "just existing" marriage I had before. Life is good when you work on all and not just part of yourself. This is the key to finding lasting peace!

Doriece Watkins is a 49 year old laboratory technician in Houston.

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The footsteps of those proud spinsters that have gone before and those that are soon to follow.

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Woman of Inspiration: Carol James

As a child I didn't learn how to deal effectively with conflict, so my usual way of dealing with it was to run away. At 17 I ran away from home, and a few years later I ran away from my marriage. When people took advantage of me, I dropped them like hotcakes. When employers didn't acknowledge me for the great job I thought I was doing, I quit. When boyfriends tried to control my life, I dumped them. I moved from relationship to relationship and job to job looking for fulfillment and happiness. Yet, at every turn, a conflict would arise that I was unable to handle effectively, sending me crashing into sickness, stress or depression.

In 1981, after ending yet another dysfunctional relationship while concurrently getting laid-off from my job, I reached the breaking point. "Enough is enough!” I thought. “I don't know how I'm attracting this garbage, but I want it to STOP!" Feeling frustrated and incredibly unhappy, I began a journey to understand the secret to sustained happiness and well-being.

After reading hundreds of psychology, parapsychology, self-help and positive thinking books and attending dozens of workshops, I came across a statement that shattered my belief system, "If you don't like your life, change it." Until then, it had never occurred to me that I had control over the circumstances of my life. Yet the insight turned my life upside down as I moved through the stages of blaming others, blaming myself, feeling powerless and making little progress to eliminate my unhappiness and stress.

As my search for answers progressed, my life bobbed around like a drunken sailor. I started my own business in 1985 but made some stupid management and hiring mistakes a few years later that eventually caused a bankruptcy. Depression took hold as I convinced myself that I was the biggest loser on the face of the Earth. My body was ravaged by stress and illness, my personal effectiveness was at an all-time low and my spirit nearly broken.

Yet time heals all wounds and eventually I rebuilt my life financially and professionally and regained my self-esteem. But I still had a big hole inside of me filled with questions for which I had no answers. Above all, I wanted to know how I kept creating the unwanted circumstances that caused me so much stress.

After years of study and self-observation, I came to understand how my beliefs, perspectives, decisions and behaviors lead me to the results I encounter. My approach to life now includes mindfulness, self-inquiry, openness, compassion and focusing on what I want (instead of focusing on what I don’t want), and the results have been astounding. My business is more successful than it has ever been, my relationships are more fulfilling, my health has vastly improved and stress, anger, regret and worry are things of the past. At last I have achieved the happiness and well-being that seemed so elusive long ago, all because I decided to hold my own thinking accountable for the circumstances of my life.

Carol James is a consultant, speaker, teacher, coach and creator of the Inspired Living web site, author of the powerful new book, Transformative Thinking: a Course in Spiritual Empowerment and publisher of the Inspired Lifestyle Newsletter.
Email Carol James at carol@inspiredliving.com Inspired Living web site to http://www.inspiredliving.com

Spinster Letters

I have a question, how can leather spinsters change how people see us? I am so tired of being called a lesbian it makes my side hurt. I want to make a difference but I don't know how, what do you suggest?27, Petra

Hi Regena how's the conference coming? When I heard the news there will be a leather spinsters conference next year in my hometown I jumped for joy. Toronto the best place for a conference,yippee. Have there been a decision as to which hotel will be used? If I can be of assistance please contact me. Teri

I was raised Catholic and I never knew there was so much strife in the lives of nuns. I always thought many of the nuns in my childhood were "undercover" lesbians. Since subscribing to this newsletter I have since learned lesbianism weren't the only reasons women hid in the convent. So much for being called into the sisterhood by God. Their stories are all sad. 44,Rendy

What's Happening?

For those of you who don't know there will be a cruise organized for leather spinsters and their supporters for next May. The exact date has yet to be decided but I'll keep you posted.

I want to also let you all know that the conference next year will be September 1, 2001 at The Westin Harbour Castle Hotel in Toronto, Ontario, Canada . We're already conversing with businesses in that province for their sponsorship and the response has been favorable.

Also next spring and summer there will be some Hen Wagons operating in the northeastern US thanks to Gloria T of New York. Ladies if you would like to organize functions in which leather spinsters could socialize by all means share with the list and I'll post the news in the newsletter.

For those of you with motorcycles and would be interested in short road trips in Louisiana and Texas please let me know so I can pass the word to individuals who are organizing such affairs.

Also, to all leather spinster businessowners please feel free to contact me when you want to promote your business to other spinsters.

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