Inside this Newsletter

1. Article
    A. Adoption and The Single Woman
    B. Free To Choose

2. Inspiration Corner
3. Spinster Letters
4. Teacakes
5. Advertisements

Adoption and The Single Woman

Recently I read an article on adoption and the memories began to flood back to me of a time when women were destined to be childless if single and over 40. Women today still have obstacles to overcome but luckily the one that prevented adoptions by them has met it’s match. The government finding it’s resources stretch beyond comfort has relaxed it’s qualifications on adoptions, although adoption laws and requirements are left to the individual states, most allow single men and women to adopt. There was a time when children spent their entire childhood being shipped from one foster home to another until the ripe old age of 18. A childhood spent feeling no one wanted them because states thought one parent homes produced immoral and corrupted individuals.

    “Thirty years ago I was permitted to be a foster mom but not allowed to adopt.” Jessica

Another possible reason for the new attitude towards single parent adoptions could be as simple as competition with other countries such as Eastern Europe and Central America. These countries are relieving their orphanage congestion by appealing to Americans and Canadians yearning for children and a simplified adoption process. Even those countries have kinks to work out of their system but kinks or not they have American states reexamining and in many cases doing away with old (rules) ideas of what makes for a happy home for children.

    “In this country couples are given priority over single women for babies so I looked to Guatemala and was able to adopt a 6 month old girl.” Coral

Another obstacle for potential adoptive mothers is the age factor. It’s assumed a woman adopting a child at 45 would be less likely to see her child graduate from high school. What a silly assumption with women living in good health well past their 80th birthdays. Old stereotypes are hard to die but people are killing them everyday day.

    “The adoption process can make even the most secure person feel inadequate when your age is a constant hindrance. At 51 I decided I had the patience and finances to raise a child but the adoption agencies thought otherwise.” Janiece

    “I didn’t bother approaching any American adoption agencies when I made the move to adopt instead I went to Brazil. A friend and her husband adopted a child there with little effort so I followed their footsteps and did the same.” Coney 56

Utilization of attorneys’ who match pregnant women with potential adoptive parents is a costly avenue filled with more risks than advantages. Those women desiring babies should think long and hard before agreeing to sponsor the birth mothers’ medical and living expenses . Believe it or not this method of adoption is controversial and can be viewed as the selling of babies rather than another adoption option. This method of adoption should be considered only as a last resort due to human nature. The horrors of the birth mother changing her mind or the father showing up afterwards saying he wasn't notified of the adoption has left many adoptive parents back where they started, without children.

    “I’m so embarrassed for being desperate and gullible. I paid all of her (birth mother) bills for four months then she changed her mind twenty minutes after the baby was born. There wasn't a damn thing I could do at that point but to plead and cry. My adoption lesson cost me a baby and left a pile of medical bills.” B.C

    "I received a late night call from my attorney a year after adopting Miguel that his birth father had filed a lawsuit alledging he wasn't notified of the adoption preceedings." Mavis

    "The birth mother and father decided to marry and wanted their child and since the mother forged his signature on legal papers the adoption was nullified. The mother's punishment was a a fine and reprimand by a sympathetic judge. I'm left without a son, where's the justice?"45,Lisa

The best way to increase your odds of adopting a child is to contact Adoption Resources 336-731-3968 or National Adoption Center 800-862-3768 and get as much information as possible before you set out on your journey to parenthood.

Proud footsteps of those spinsters that have gone before and those that are soon to follow.

Free To Choose

here was a group of us that would go to clubs to hear music and dance. We would work hard all week in anticipation for Saturday night. Our group were mostly teachers and a couple of school nurses, we knew how to have a real good time without sacrificing our reputation as respectable ladies.

The night would start with us voting on which nightclub we would go to that night.Then off to the club we went. We were careful to watch out for each other, there were bad people then like today. As independent women of our time we bought our own drinks. There were people around in those days that would slip mickeys into a person's drink while they weren’t paying attention, that’s not a new phenomena. After our night out on the town we would go to a lat nite diner for breakfast. The latest we ever stayed out was till two in the morning and we thought coming home at that hour was terrible but it pales to what women are doing today.

Two out of our group of five lived as roommates in a duplex apartment a block from the school the rest of us lived with our parents. It was common and expected for single women to reside with their parents until they married back in those days. The spinsters in our group were all the same age and had attended the same high school and college, we didn't give any grief to anyone that chose to live on her own.

It was 1949 and we thought of ourselves as sophisticated because we had what we considered professional careers. Three of our group married and had children and eventually grandchildren. They didn't start their marriages until their mid-thirties something of a rarity back in the fifties. Getting married in your thirties was considered "late" and a child after 30 never failed to draw a remark of , what took you so long. As a widow I find myself thinking back to that carefree time and smiling, I really felt liberated in the forties and fifties. I wonder if single women today feel the same invigoration towards their lives the way we did way back in the day? Mildred a“childless by choice” 71 year old retired teacher in Houston.

Inspiration Corner

It’s been ten years since her passing and it seems like yesterday. Ms. Daisy was the first spinster I had ever met and she taught me how to be aggressive in business without sacrificing my "ladyhood".

She intimidated and manipulated many men with her feminine charms and knowledge of her the construction business. She was a classy woman and she inspired me to be the same. I can remember when she told me I could be a success in any business as long as I remembered to respect my colleagues and make them feel special. She made herself a fine example, she spoke with authority to her workers and colleagues without making them feel small or unappreciated. Ms.Daisy could get people to do things they wouldn't do for their best friends, she was able to communicate her needs to these people and they responded accordingly.

Women envied her carefreeness and men were caught between admiration of her skills and lust for her body. There were many who despised her because she had those admired qualities, and women who hated the fact that she was a spinster and not ashamed to be one. To these women Ms. Daisy was mocking their marital choices by being so blissful and unashamed for being free and over forty.

She always told me to hold my head just that much higher when I knew there were others who didn't like me. She wasn’t a timid little woman she spoke her mind regardless to whom she may be speaking. I was so impressed with that woman as a teenager at night I would pray that I would be just like her when I grew up. There are other things she and I shared, our commitment to help others in our community, career ambitions,singleness, virginity, and her scalfolding company. When she died she left her business to me and I’m operating it in a manner inwhich she would approve, aggressive but fair. I hope to pass my legacy to my nieces and nephews just as Ms. Daisy passed hers to me.39, Tammy, Geological Consultant

Spinster Letters

I was in the bookstore recently when I noticed more books about single women sitting on the shelves. The exact thought that ran through my mind was,”alright finally we’re getting the recognition we deserve.” I was wrong in my assumption those books were giving us the proper recognition we deserve. The message is still the same, women should spend their lives waiting for the right man to come along. Why is it unimaginable to think women can be happy without having to wait for someone? 44,Connie
I was so disappointed when I received word the conference was cancelled. Can’t say I was surprised when I learned it was cancelled because of a sponsor. It’s something about single women gathering to better themselves that brings fear to the surface of certain folks. Don’t worry we’ll get our day next year! 67, Beulah

Teacakes: Create some new memories

I remember as a child my grandmother making those buttery tasting cookies. Create some new memories for your loved ones by baking them some teacakes.

    4 cups of flour
    1 cup of sugar
    1 tablespoon of vanilla extract
    1 teaspoon of banana flavoring
    1/2 cup of room temperature butter
    3tablespoons of milk
    1 1/2 teaspoon of baking powder
    1 small egg

Combine the milk, butter,egg, vanilla, banana extract, sugar, and baking powder in a large bowl. Blend until smooth then gradually add flour into the mixture. Once all the ingredients are combined the dough should have the same consistency as biscuit dough. Knead the mixture then roll flat with rolling pin. Using cookie cutters cut the dough then place on non-stick cookie sheet. Be sure you pat flour on boths sides of cookies before placing on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes depending on the altitude. Cookies should be slightly pale in color.Be prepared to taste a small piece of heaven.**Rolling the dough very thin prior to using the cookie cutter will make the cookies crispy and dunkable,whereas, thicker cuts of the dough will result in soft melt in your mouth mounds.

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