Power in Knowing Self

Power in Knowing Self
by Regena English, editor

Today while chasing my dog around the yard with her playtoy an old childhood friend stopped and chatted with me. Our chat somehow lead to him asking me if I had remarried or at the very least had a steady boyfriend. I remarked, "no and I'm not looking for one either. I'm just enjoying my life as is!" We laughed then he asked if I was serious because everyone needed somebody, even me.

I went on to tell him, what everyone need is human companionship not romantic relationships. He looked deep in my eyes and said," Why not get out and enjoy life? My God it's not normal to enjoy being alone, when you grow old you will be sitting asking yourself where did time go and feeling lonely. You need to get over any hurt from past relationships because you need a man."

People assume when a over thirty woman says she's happy without a man she's embittered or delusional. I can remember one of my esteem seminar attendees made a statement that people would always try to make her feel bad for choosing to be happy with whatever life sent her way, and life sent her singleness at forty years old. Her voice echoed through my head just as he went on to ask my age. I responded with a proud thirty-five as my answer. He let out a woo girl you're getting up there you better get serious about your life. He's thirty-seven and still single, do you see anything peculiar with his assessment?

As I listened to my old neighborhood chum I began to think out loud. Years ago when I was in my early twenties I bought the whole shabang about me needing someone to give my life more meaning and it brought me nothing but reality, which wasn't a bad thing. Whenever a person, doesn't matter if they are male or female, lives vicariously through or according to others because they can't see how their happiness and joy is their responsibility they're setting themselves up for a dissappointing life.

Life is like buying a new car, it's customizable. What does that mean? Each person is responsible for finding out key things about themselves such as who they are and what they want from life. The knowledge of self sets the theme for what that person will experience and endure during their lifespan.

I've had time to look at my life and discover myself, faults and all, and I didn't share his view on what made life enjoyable and meaningful. As long as I can wake in the morning feeling thankful for having another day to discover and experience life's adventures I was on the right path for me. ME, not him or anyone else just ME.

His comments didn't anger me nor did it upset my day but I do believe my laughing at them may have chipped his ego somewhat. There's nothing more comforting as when you know you're actually living for you, living in the moment, totally aware of what brings you pleasure and what don't, the ability to stand for what you believe without any regrets. It's freeing to the spirit to know self.

How To Know Self

    1. List One:
    Make a list of the things you would like to accomplish in life. Don't let any thoughts of doubts enter your mind just write what it is you would like to do.

    2. Description One:
    On another sheet of paper describe how you would feel doing the things on the list. Spend some time daydreaming about how it would feel, try and enjoy the daydreams using as many senses (touch, smell, hearing,taste,seeing) as you can. Accept them as a matter of fact and not as moments of fantasy.

    3. List Two:
    Make another list of the things that you don't want in your life. Be totally honest with yourself, add faults, shortcomings, mistakes,and embarrassments to this list.

    4. Description Two:
    Examine how having those faults/shortcomings or experiences made you stronger as a person. Explain what you can do positively to change any negative habits and ideas permanently. Be willing to accept those things you can't change and embrace those you can. The goal here is not to be perfect but to be the best you can be.

Getting to know yourself is a lifelong project because as "normal" humans we're suppose to always be evolving (maturing), yes we all know of people who run from such change clinging to the past like it was a safety blanket, so for the sake of argument we're not considering those persons "normal".

Growing emotionally and spiritually leaves a person knowing the difference between what the world says they should want and what their hearts says they need and desire, now this is POWER!

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Article by Regena English publisher of the Leather Spinsters Newsletter and Leather Spinsters ont he Web Ezine. REnglis1@aol.com

Copyright 2001 Regena English

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