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Everyone seek the key to happiness outwardly
but only the wise know it lies within.!
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This month's newsletter is about the renewal of the mind, one way to renew the mind is to set it free from the constraints
of procrastination and unforgiveness, two pitfalls that prevent joyful appreciation of being a single woman.
It got a very good response - so I'd obviously struck a chord.
Not surprisingly as overcoming procrastination is a perennial
sticking point in self growth and personal development.
I thought it was time to look a little more deeply at what is
probably the most important reason as to why you procrastinate.
One that you're not always consciously aware of.
What You Resist Persists!
Resistance means that you push against the world so that it
pushes back. Some of the related feelings and beliefs of
resistance are:
* stubborness;
* inflexibility
* wanting to be right, rather than happy (a very popular
one:.)
* holding onto self limiting beliefs long after they've
passed their sell by date.
No one likes being told what to do. We are freedom seeking beings
who value our autonomy and independence.
We hear the voices of our parents, teachers, guardians, employers
or other authority figures and it reminds us of feeling powerless
as children. So we rebel against it.
Except that we may not consciously or outwardly rebel; we have
a silent/inverted tantrum instead. We will put off, delay and
procrastinate over doing what we've been told to do.
Relationships and Resistance
Resentment often leads to resistance. In relationships,
procrastination is often played out as one member of the
partnership tells the other to do something (and repeatedly does
so). There's unexpressed resentment because the other partner
doesn't want to do it or feels incapable of doing so.
Rather than this being expressed openly, they procrastinate over
doing the task. Procrastination in this area is often indicative
of a relationship where one or maybe both partners' needs are not
being met and communication is ineffective.
Relationships often falter on the altar of unexpressed
resentment, fuelled by resistance and driven by procrastination.
Self Sabotage
Even when enacting a certain kind of behaviour is beneficial
to you, you may still encounter internal resistance to it. You
may be less successful, less healthy, less wealthy than you
consciously like to be because of a hidden resistance which
plays out as self sabotage.
And by the way it makes no difference if the person telling you
to do something is you or someone else, the net effect is the
same.
So the key is to realise that you are actually resisting, because
for many of us, it has been running on auto for so long that we
don't even realise that we're doing it.
You know whether what you are procrastinating over is a
"coulda","woulda", "shoulda","have to", "need to" etc. And if it
is (and it mostly is) then that's fine, just allow yourself to
struggle with it, put pressure on yourself and not do it, then
release those bonds and let that be okay.
Or decide to do it and just do it.
Don't Tell, Ask
Telling or exhorting yourself to do something is setting yourself
up for failure. The harder the telling (I must do this), the less
likely you are to do it or resist it. The telling is a substitute
for the doing. All of your energy has gone into the telling,
leaving little energy for the doing.
So, if you are procrastinating over doing something, ask yourself
to do it. In fact ask yourself if it actually requires doing at
all - or if someone else could do it. The key thing is that you
ask yourself kindly and politely. No beating up on yourself!
Whatever you decide, be happy and present in and with your
decision. Procrastination is symbolic of an internal war raging
inside of you as you vacillate between "shoulding" and "have
to", leading to paralysis through resistance. And because the
resistance is unacknowledged, it drains your energy as well as
any vampire!
Making a decision to let go of the resistance is often all that
it takes.
Prioritising, delegating and so on are all good strategies for
overcoming procrastination, but without letting go of the
resistance, you may well come across hidden obstacles.
Whatever strategy or tactic you decide to use, know that
procrastination need not steal your life away or zap your
energy - once you recognize where it comes from and how you
can neutralize its worst effects.
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ŠJulie Plenty helps creatively self employed people prosper by
using the Law of Attraction, because they ARE their business.
For more self empowerment and Law of Attraction articles, and
to sign up for her Life Design newsletter, visit:
http://www.self-empowerment-zone.com
.
I forgive easily when I remember that there are universal laws, which
allow to happen to me only what I create, deserve and is beneficial
for my evolutionary process.
I forgive easily when I think that a just and wise Divine Being allowed
the other to do whatever he or she did to me.
I forgive easily when I understand that I exist within Divine Plan.
That all is happening to me for my long-term benefit.
I forgive easily when I realize that the other is an expression of the
Divine with whom I have made a secret agreement to test my faith,
love, understanding and inner strength.
I forgive easily when I perceive the other as a soul who behaves in
this way because of ignorance of his true divine nature and out of fear and
insecurity.
I forgive easily when I remember all of my own mistakes and
moments in which I have behaved without love or sensitivity having
been mislead by my needs and fears.
I forgive easily when I put myself in the other's position and realize
the emptiness, confusion and pain, which lead him to these acts.
I forgive easily when I take responsibility for my reality and
remember that only I create in my mind what I feel.
I forgive easily when I need nothing from the other and thus am no
longer in a position to be hurt or disappointed.
I forgive easily when I am free from the game of "who is right" and
understand that saying, 'I forgive you" does not mean, "You were
right", but simply that "I understand you and chose to love you as you
are."
I forgive easily when I am liberated from the role of the abused who
needs abusers.
I forgive others when I am free from the mistaken thought process,
which says, "since I am the victim, the other is the abuser and I am
good and the other is evil. I am worthy and he is not.
The victim finds his security and self worth in being victimized, and
believes that, if he forgives, then he loses his self-worth.
I forgive easily when I remember Christ's words "Whoever has not
sinned, let him throw the first stone."
I wonder then, what right could I ever have not to forgive?
Upon what perfection am I basing my right to condemn?
I think, "He forgave those who crucified him, saying, 'They know not
what they do.'" Because he saw them through divine eyes
although they remained totally ignorant of their Divine origin.
And when Peter asked him, "How many times should we forgive, Seven
times?" Christ answered, "No Peter, not seven times, but Seven times
seventy times," In other words - without end.
And when I am truly conscious, I also ask forgiveness from all who I
have felt hurt or disappointed by my actions, voluntary or not.
If possible, I seek to correct any wrong that has been done and
desire to lessen their pain - if they allow me.
Then I communicate with God, confess my weakness and acknowledge
my mistakes and egoism.
Then I forgive myself.
When I forgive all including myself,
We then all gather in love
In my heart.
He is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lecture cassettes on
Human Harmony. Download FREE 100's of articles, find wonderful ebooks,
guidance, audio files and teleclasses at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com.
His books The Psychology of Happiness and Remove Pain with Energy Psychology
are available at http://www.amazon.com
Copyright 1998-2005, St.Mary Publishing Company of Houston (TM). All Rights Reserved. You may not use any parts of this publication
without permission. Comments may or may not be edited for length. St.Mary Publishing Company of Houston(TM) is not responsible for comments made by authors nor advertiser content,promises, or products. ISSN 1527-7186
