Inside this Newsletter

1. Article
    A. Spinster Survival Techniques
    B. Leather Spinsterhood

2. Inspiration Corner
3. Spinster Letters
4. Kiwi Cantaloupe Smoothie
5. Dog and Cat Days

6. Advertisements

Spinster Survival Techniques

The conference was just a start but our efforts to reach out to other spinsters is not. Over the past couple of months our middle-aged and elderly sisters have been complaining about being excluded from church or community functions for single persons. They’ve been accusing these functions of forcing the issues of romance and dating on them.

Objectively examining their accusations of those organizations I can understand the romance and dating emphasis by them. The average single man and woman is seeking companionship and would prefer romance be the end results of their efforts to find a mate. Unfortunately, these types of programs don’t cater to happily spinstered women and would be a serious turn off to them if they participated in those sponsored events.

So why haven’t spinster women proactively developed social programs aimed at their spinstered peers? Lets not forget, women are suppose to feel ashamed of being alone therefore creating programs geared towards those like themselves would be showing some form of pride. Now we can’t allow that can we?

Nonsense, with more women finding themselves successfully living without mates this would be a perfect time to start social programs that’ll allow women to fellowship and form friendships with those in common with themselves. We should be quick to bid farewell to those lonely days inwhich spinsters and widows hid in their homes afraid of going to social events or worst yet creating friendships with others because of that ingrained belief.

It’s common for mainstream world to think a woman should spend her days feeling sorry for the spouse or lover she let get away. As liberated women we should shatter that myth within our own minds and freely move within the circles we’ve created for our own benefits. There’s power in surrounding ourselves with friends and family (both related and extended).

Proud footsteps of those spinsters that have gone before and those that are soon to follow.

Leather Spinsterhood
A leather spinster is a happily unmarried straight or asexual woman who sees her life as fulfilling and complete without a mate.

uestions regarding who’s a leather spinster has been clogging my email so I decided to revisit this arena again. I must admit the questions are responsible for some in-depth discussions on the topic with friends. A letter was sent to me from a lesbian asking if there were any lesbian leather spinsters. I thought long and hard trying to be open minded and sensitive as to not offend her with my answer. These past two years I’ve yet to speak with any leather spinsters who identified as lesbian or bisexual. Yes there were those that lived at one time or another as “out” lesbians and bisexuals but they no longer identified as such after they came to terms with not wanting a mate or intimate relationships.

According to them they found it contradictory to continue referring to themselves as lesbians and bisexuals when they didn’t find the need for sexual intimacy or relationships any further in their lives. For so long women that sought lives alone were thought to be lesbians therefore they found themselves living in the shadows of a lifestyle and group (the gay community) inwhich they stood a chance of blending in. Even the gay community thought they were “oddities” and criticized their existence so all wasn’t tranquil.

Today leather spinsters or spinsters for short don’t have to live in secret they can openly be themselves. Yes the stereotyping of them as lesbians still exist but with the new awareness being generated on the subject of leather spinsterhood they know who they are and there’s nothing wrong with them for being alone. The forming of a leather spinsters network is slow in coming but rest assured it’s just a matter of time.

I’m not anti-lesbian but I do think the time has come for leather spinsters to be open about who they are and not accept the grouping of them as lesbians, that’s a myth whose time has come to die. I can remember spending hours on end talking with teary-eyed elderly spinsters about life as young women being referred to as “funny girls” or “odd” for choosing to have lives centered around self and careers instead of husbands and kids. Times were hard for them as young women who yearned for things other than the typical societal desires of marriage and motherhood. It took growing older before they could feel confident enough to say they’re not bitter or embarrassed about their choices in life.

It was the images of those women that came to mind when I read the letter asking if there were lesbian leather spinsters. It’s wanting to pay tribute to those women who were frequently misunderstood and misidentified by those around them. Their struggles to survive and survive well should be a beacon for all but especially to other spinsters. The days of accepting titles and names that didn’t explain their intentions are over, there’s no need to hide in the lesbian community anymore for fear of being considered “abnormal” for not finding and needing a mate either by choice or accident. Now leather spinsters can stand on their own and people can call them whatever they see fit but it’s leather spinsters who will define themselves not others.

Many of the letters I receive are from women saying they’re tired of others referring to them as gay just because they’re not interested in husbands and the “white picket fence dream”.Well today it’s more common for a woman to find herself unwed over the age of 30 but it’s should never be a gauge on judging if a woman is woman loving (ie,,gay), with so many “out” gay women and couples there should be no excuse to be closeted nor a reason to “out” anyone else for a lifestyle you think they’re living.

Inspiration Corner

Thank you for this newsletter. I am 56 years young,and I wish I could tell every woman ,that you have to love yourself first ,and everything will fall in place. This has to be the HAPPIEST time of my life. Celibate since the conception of my daugher,who is 19...I love men,but not in my bed,or women for that matter...Wide is my world...King is my bed for only me...Keep up the excellent job...Judi

Spinster Letters

Marcy was right on the point with Alley McBealism last month. I found myself hounding men when I was in my twenties. It was so bad my mother pulled me aside one day and told me I acted as if I was in “heat”. She was right I was in “heat” and I needed to find a husband before my thirtieth birthday. Now I can look at my women friends scurrying home on Friday nights to put on their made up faces so they can get lucky and catch a guy at the bar and shake my head. The very scene of grown women playing dress up for a husband is pathetic. Their nights usually ended with all their hopes pinned on one nightstands. Women just don’t look at their situations objectively and see what the guys actually see. I can tell you they see desperation and those that are insecure themselves will take advantage of all the desperate women they should come across in their lifetime. I’m thankful my mother told me I was acting poorly when it came to men otherwise I’ll still be chasing them down like a linebacker so they can take advantage of me financially and sexually. 40,Nanci

There’s something wrong when women have to lie and cheat to become nuns. Each month you have a letter from a former nun who admits to lying her way into the convent because of fear of being mislabeled. I don’t understand the years of shutting themselves away in a world they didn’t find joy in all for the sake of keeping their feelings a secret. Why didn’t they pursue careers and not worry about how they looked to family members? Pure deceit is how I would describe their lives!35, Lee

Great cookie recipe! I made some Mad Spinster cookies for the faculty at my job and they couldn’t stop praising those cookies. Now I’m being asked to make some for a bake sale at my church. Thanks for sharing that recipe. Cathie

Kiwi Cantaloupe Smoothie: Great Way To Welcome Spring

1/2 cantaloupe (cubed)
3 tablespoons of whipped cream
1/2 cup of crushed ice
1 pinch of cinnamon
Peel two small kiwis with paring knife then thinly slice. Pour cantaloupe cubes into blender with Kiwi slices. Blend on puree for 3 minutes then add whipped cream and crushed ice. Pour into tall glass adding a pinch of cinnamon on the top of smoothie.(Hint: some blenders require fruit to be at room temperature and in small cubes before they would puree properly, read your owners manual to make sure.) Your end result is a smooth blend of two tropical fruits to make a refreshing drink for those beautiful flowered Spring days.

Dog and Cat Days
If you have a dog or cat then you know how bad these animals can smell when the temperature rises. Holding your breath whenever Fido or Puffy is in your presence is not the answer. If you opt for bathing the little ones keep in mind that frequent bathing can dry their skin causing it to become dry, itchy, and inflamed from their constant scratching. Always use a gentle shampoo and conditioner specifically designed for their coats if you should wash them yourself. Wash them no more than once monthly and be sure you sprinkle a bit of baking soda through their dry coats to help eliminate unpleasant odors when it’s too soon to rewash them. Be sure to brush their coats to keep loose fur from depositing on your clothing and in your home. Lets celebrate the dog and cat days by not having to breath the stench of a smelly pet on a hot day.

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