Inside this Newsletter
1. Articles
A. Which would you rather joy or happiness?
B. How Could This Have Happened?
2. Spinster Letters
3. Inspiration Corner
4. Advertisements
5. Helpful Products
6. Spinster-Friendly Newsletters and Ezines
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Which would you rather joy or happiness?
If you're like most you would chose happiness. We've been lead to believe our main goal in life is to have happiness. There's a problem with that belief. Happiness is a shallow condition based on shallow things, material things. Cars, homes, and clothes can give us happiness. Though only briefly. What happens when that car breakdown, the home is in disaray, or the clothes no longer fit? Happiness leaves.
Joy is one of the most powerful emotions we can have, why? We have to dig deep pass all our hurts, disappointments, shortcomings, losses, and opinions to obtain it. The seepage of joy to the surface isn't determined by what's happening in the world around us. This one emotion can save a person drowning in the end results of living in a physical world.
Unlike happiness, joy can connect us to the God-being and to our fellow humans. When you have joy you can appreciate life, you can participate unselfishly in life, and you don't need to be vested in another to love them. Look around, there are many who declare themselves happy, happy because they have access to things. No branches from them to others just them being consumed with self. Take away those things and what's left? I ask you again, which would you rather have joy or happiness? The only way our lives will count for something is to have them filled with joy. Richness is added to our lives when we find, nurture, and permit joy to flow freely.
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Have you ever said to yourself,"how could this have happened"? If you're like most you have. Although my friend and I had a chuckle when she had her wake up call it was indeed a serious moment.
Her quote:
Don't get me wrong, seeing your life as it really is can act as a motivator, but , I'm speaking of the negative side of wake-up calls. When we spend too much time on the little things we lose track of what's important, like time. All of our time is spent worrying over things we can either not change or lack the ability to successfully do so. When we're in this state of mind we tend to make careless mistakes. Mistakes we would never make under normal circumstances.
My friend's response to her wake-up call wasn't for the positive, instead, she fell into a deep depression that lasted for years. She became a mistress to a married man, created larger debts, and hired herself out to three different companies for employment. Needless to say she spent three miserable years searching for relief. Searching in all the wrong places.
Why do we always overlook the obvious? I don't know! Cheryl didn't look at her situation objectively, nor did she sit down and write out her goals and how she was going to attain them. Having dealt with her life condition this way she would've had a path for which she could follow to the place she wanted to be.
Cheryl, wanted what most women profess to want, marriage, children, and a successful career. There's nothing impossible about the above goals but clear and logical thinking is required. She can obtain the things she once wanted but she no longer desired her life to be in that order. Refocused, she went back to college, got her masters, started a new career, ended the affair, and became an active member at her church.
Have you had your wake-up call? No? Then maybe it's time you did. Take your phone off the hook, turn off the television, and sit in total quietness. On a sheet of paper describe your life as it really is, don't lie to yourself tell the truth. Afterwards write down what your goals were five, ten, twenty years ago, then compare the two. Like what you see? Yes? Then I commend you on successfully following your designated paths. No? Now is the time to establish direction in your life, if you make no changes now there will be no worthwhile changes later. Past mistakes will be repeated. The choice is yours.
Cheryl is so proud of the changes she has made in her life she gave me her blessings to tell her story.
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"It was like I had awakened from a long sleep and everything had went to hell and beyond. For the first time I actually saw just how much weight I had gained, how poor and indebted I were, and to top it off all those golden dreams of yesteryear gone asunder. DAAAAMN how could this have happened?"
Most of the time when we come to the realization life goes on, inspite, of our trivial involvements we're shocked by what we see in the "mirror of life". I could see how my friend lost track of her own life, it's common with people striving for more in their lives. Long work hours, struggles to get things and relationships block our view to what's really going on.
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The footsteps of those proud spinsters that have gone before and those that are soon to follow.
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Thank you for a wonderful web site. It is reaffirming to know there are
other "leather spinsters" out there. Some of my friends are so entrenched in
Western culture, they don't get me. Thinking my asexually is some kind of
bargaining tool to snare a man, is stark contrast to my intent. I consider
asexuality the most normal and comfortable of all sexual options.
A general dissolution of principles and manners will more surely overthrow
the liberties of us than the whole force of a common enemy. While we are
virtuous they cannot be subdued; but when they lose their virtue they are
ready to surrender their liberties to the first external or internal
invader. If virtue and knowledge are diffused among the people, they will
never be enslaved. This will be their greatest security. I will enjoy the
optimum security, my life in my capable hands.Karen (40
yrs. young)
Nadya was describing me. I was a flake who loved her men too much. I blamed myself for everything that happened leading up to the dissolution of the relationships. "I should've done this or that. Maybe I should've been more submissive." No more!
When I could love myself the way I loved those men I found I no longer needed their validation to feel good about myself. I thank you for it because you write this newsletter every month for women like me.
Had it not been for this newsletter I would have never met my leather spinster friends. Thank you!!!
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Inspiration Corner
T he Leather Spinsters Newsletter has been in existence since October of 98 and I owe it all to the readers. I must admit I didn't do alot of planning when the idea of creating a newsletter for straight and asexual single women came to my mind.
I wasn't sure if I would have any readers but I did know it would be a blessing to me. People have asked in the past why I didn't make a "big to do" over the newsletter anniversary last year? My response was, "why make a big to do once a year when we could celebrate each an every month the newsletter is published."
I'm glad it has grown and I'm looking forward to the direction it will take in the future. WOW, is all I can say when describing the readers of this publication. They cross all racial, ethnic,economic, career,and country lines.
Over the past two years I've heard all kinds of compliants lodged against the newsletter, but by the same token, I was also told by many how this newsletter blessed them in their lives.
Recently I was asked to sell the newsletter to a publishing company of a high volume website for women. I was flattered by the offer but I refused. No I didn't refuse because the right amount of money wasn't offered. Lord knows some months I can barely get by from the proceeds generated by this newsletter. I said no to them because I felt they wouldn't continue what I started. Eventually they would eliminate the support for single women, starting with the asexual women. It would bug me to find out my hard work and sacrifice to create a space on the web for women like myself was eliminated. We've waited so long to have a place we as straight and asexual single women could call our own.
I thank all the readers for being supportive of this publication. Also before I go I want to inform those of you on onelist email list, I'm having difficulties with my web host and my usual web address www.leatherspinsters.com is being held hostage by this company. The temp address is and it will house the newsletter and ezine. No, my web host will not hold me or this publication back. In due time my usual domain will be back up and running so please be patient. Thanks again for your support!!!Regena English
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