Organizing the International Leather Spinsters Association and scheduling a spring conference,what do you think.
Leather spinsters received the first issue of this newsletter with cheers and celebration, finally something just for them. Keep the letters and emails coming to be printed for the next issue.
The footsteps of those proud spinsters that have gone before and those that are soon to follow.
Something very negative happened when a few of my friends married, they started seeing me as a
selfish human being because I didn't share their beliefs that God put me on this planet to serve
men and children. The most
liberal of my friends now my
ex-friend by her choice told me that I had a problem dealing with men and people in general which was the reason I was turned off by relationships. All that analysation because I was peaceful with my life alone.
It's really odd how fast things between us changed, one day we're laughing about her new life with her husband and the next she's telling me how selfish I
am for not wanting to give up my singleness. I can't say I'm surprised because three years earlier a college friend ostracized Janice and I once she got married.
I've asked this question more times than I want to recall, what's so bad about some women liking life without romantic love interests?
I don't see myself as having difficulty finding a man although I know of women who are. I like coming home to a quiet house, watching what I want on
television without having to go to the negotiating table, no arguments over sex, cooking, housework,
and other perceived responsibilities because I'm a
woman. I've been there done that and no thank you, these have been the most peaceful eight years since
my live-in boyfriend and I broke up. So what if other women feel threatened by my presence because of my happiness with solitude that's their problem.
For the first time I feel comfortable being myself. Now I know I'm not alone that others have to deal with the "oh that's too bad ' comments about being single. I've never-married and used to feel bad about it but now i don't.
Jonnie W. (administrative asst.)
To live without arguments and debates as to why I do what I do is wonderful. Twelve years in a unhappy marriage and nine as a mom to four, two girls, a boy, and a husband by the time I filed for divorce I was exhausted. I was slow in filing for divorce, I was scared that I'll be alone. After the final argument with my husband I lost that fear forever. Ten years later I'm happier now then ever before in my life and I'm not lonely and desperate like I imagined.
Sokker Thompson (dental assistant)
Spreadsheet Charts: Insert any chart from a Works Spreadsheet.
Planning For Leather Spinster Conference
PPlanning has begun for the 1999 Leather Spinsters Conference to be held in Houston, Texas. The response was overwhelming to the survey asking the simple questions of what topics single women wanted covered and general interests in the conference. At this time it's still being organized and once completed information will be provided on website and newsletter so stay posted. Any businesses interested in exihibit space please contact Rlynne as soon as possible.
There's a new movement of women that's growing larger as each week passes called Leather Spinsters. With the advent of higher divorce rates, the downfall of intergender relations, and the expectancy of women to maintain careers more and more young women are finding the thought of perpetual singlehood acceptable and a wise choice. It's not about a dislike of marriage or the trappings of that institution it's merely about accepting the fact that every woman have a mission in life and sometimes that mission don't encompass marriage.
The odds of marrying successfully according to many experts are slim for the masses of women aged 25-45, rather than join in the hysteria of finding a mate before their biological clocks struck twelve these women are concentrating on lives without that amenity. Having learned to override the "pair off and procreate" programming of their cultures these women are channeling their energies elsewhere in their lives, creating success in their personal, business, and community affairs.
No this movement isn't new although many women born after 1961 think of it as a new addition to their world of options, validating their lives as being full and productive without mates, although the lifestyle is still seen as untraditional by mainstream society. Spinsters have always existed but they were never permitted to live without the pressures and pities of the cultures inwhich they lived, forcing them to live in secrecy and regret. Today the modern spinsters refuse to live as their foremothers in shame and disgust for not ever marrying and becoming mothers. Also women today have the choice of bearing or adopting children while remaining single without any stigma being placed on their offspring as were the case forty years past. Things are different between these two generations of spinsters but one thing isn't and that's the perceptions of them by the communities inwhich they live.
When a group of leather spinsters were asked about how they were perceived by others their response varied from mild curiousity to viciousness from family,friends and strangers.
"What gets me is the questions do I hate men and children, I can't get use to those kinds of questions. I don't hate men and most certainly not children just because I decided not to settle down with some nice guy." Margarette Stelle (stockbroker)
"What wrong with her that's keeping her from finding someone has to be the most common question asked about a leather spinster." Bobbie Newsome (dentist)
"My mother finds it difficult to believe that I'm happy without a man. She thinks that all women dream about finding Mister Right and giving him a house full of kids." Vikki Scott (math teacher)
"Something very negative happened when a few of my friends married, they started seeing me as selfish human being because I didn't share their beliefs that God put me on this planet to serve men and children. The most liberal of my friends now my ex-friend by her choice told me that I had a problem dealing with men and people in general which was the reason I was turned off by relationships. All that analysation because I was peaceful with my life alone."Debra Coopers(veterinarian)
"Lesbians tend to confuse women like myself with being closeted and waiting to come out. When told otherwise they argue that I'm waiting for the right girl to come along. Who said that a happily single woman is another way of saying gay?" Naomi Vanderbilt (engineer)
There are those in our communities that see this lifestyle as another push for the decline of the traditional family and values inwhich this country was founded. Apparently those that think that a life of being happy alone is a threat to the institutions of marriage and family think it's best that women not be contented with life if without a husband. That's the rational women of the early part of this century had to contend with from married peers and religious leaders and sadly it exists today. The image of a woman being happy and single has a unfair stereotype of being selfish and coldhearted. Inspite of the image thirty and forty-something women are embracing this lifestyle without much worry of how others perceive them. The only conclusion that can be drawn from the willingness of women to be apart of leather spinsterhood is the disillusionment of "having it all" that society expects of modern women.
Frustrated with the date lines, personal advertisings, blind dates, seminars and books on finding that right person, these women are tossing those hassles to the side. They've cut the "find the mate" puppet strings and have found other things to do besides search the bars and clubs for potential mates (male and female). Time have new meaning to them, to waste it in weak unproductive relationships is shameful but to invest it in self, hobbies, charity, and business is honorable. There are those within this group that have gone so far as to marry themselves, make commitments to themselves to remain free-spirited and focused on their own agendas and not preoccupation with romance. As with any group there are the extremes and marriage to self can be seen as one but the premise of being focused on living well is shared by the majority in this sect of the female population. There are some new kids on the block that are swatting off romance and relationships