Laura a physician assistant in Clear Lake: “I’m not a
promiscuous woman but I do have moments, though
not often, when I want sex and I have a special friend
I can call when that feeling arise. My friendship with
him goes deeper than the occasional sex, we hang
around each other like to two dudes.I can talk to him
about anything. He is like me and likes not being
attached, come to think of it he don’t like dating
either.”
Paula a graduate student at University of
Houston.”Dennis and I have been buddies since I
moved to Houston in 93.We hit it off immediately, if
you saw one of us you saw the other that’s how close
we’ve been.He’s a computer programmer for an
offshore company and it keeps him away three
weeks at a time. When he comes home and I’m
interested in sexual involvement I can call on him at
any hour of the day or night. At least I know when
morning comes he’ll still be treating me with respect.”
Debbie a nurse at Methodist Hospital.”I love my
freedom and I’m not willing to give it up for the
marriage thing or a committed relationship for that
matter.Yes I have a “male friend” and all I have to do
is call him if I need anything and he’ll be there, no
we’re not sexual, but he’s the best friend I could’ve
ever wished for. I think sex would ruin our closeness
so that’s not a option to be considered, I’m a bit old
fashioned, no premarital sex especially with your best
friend.”
Lisa a paralegal. “I have a “male friend” and we’ve
had sex in the past at my urgings.I’m with Debbie, sex
can make things sticky when it’s with a close friend. I
used him like he was just a phallus. He was my friend
but yet I took advantage of him sexually with no
regards to his feelings. I regret losing a wonderful
friend. What made him so special was his
understanding of what it was I as a leather spinster
wanted most, which was my privacy and freedom
from attachments.Realistcally speaking sex cheated
the friendship because the focus in the relationship
shift from the mind to the genitalia. I’ve come to the
conclusion sex took away longevity of the friendship.”
Carol a paralegal. “I don’t have alot of female friends,
men have always been there for me.They understood
me when my gender couldn’t. No sex, oh no sex,
that’s the straw that’ll break the camel’s back. I know
a leather spinster who had a “male friend” at her
beckon call for sex and it backfired on her. She felt
bad when she learned she was his hoe. Sex is not an
equal trade off for a close and compassionate
friendship. I can’t bear the thoughts of losing any of
the closeness I share with my friend for sex.!”
To be sexual or not to be sexual is the question many
leather spinsters are asking themselves. I think when
you know yourself and the motivations behind your
behaviors you’ll be able to answer that question with
bare honesty. Mixing sex with a very close male friend
may be disastrous to the relationship and self esteem
so be forewarned. The safest bet is to steer clear of
sex if you really value the friendship. If you would like to be notified of upcoming online discussions please email leatherspinsters@mailcity.com with "notify me" in the subject area.
Rent Today;Romy and Michelle High School Reunion
The footsteps of those proud spinsters that have gone before and those that are soon to follow.
Endeavors Newspaper For Single Parents
I’m volunteered for everything under the sun and
I can’t seem to say no. Some schools lack
parental participation with extracurricular
activities so teachers are expected to step in, my
school is one of them.
I can’t remember a time in the past eight years I
wasn’t responsible for the Girl Scouts,
cheerleading, and after school math tutoring. I
don’t mind assisting sometimes, but, to be stuck
neck high with those added responsibilities
along with my fulltime job of teaching math is
HELL.
This is what happens when you lack a
backbone, co-workers walk all over you. I admit I
don’t date but that’s my choice and it’s in no way
an indication I’m not busy. That poor Gretchen,
the poor lonely aging Gretchen lets keep her so
busy she can’t see how lonely she really is.
When I’m not borged down with extracurricular
activites I’m very busy with my many hobbies. I
guess I’m one of the lucky ones because I don’t
remember ever having a day when I felt lonely or
sorry for myself.
Every year while my friends are making their
resolutions to lose weight I’m promising myself
to start saying no to extracurricular activites. I’ve
thought on many ocassions how I could just
scream if another person volunteered me for
more after school activities. No screaming I’ll
just say no!
I’m proud of myself because I took the first step
to being assertive. I told one of my meddling
co-workers off when she suggested I oversee
the formation of a drama club. I can tell you
she’ll think twice before she suggest I take on
another activity. To my co-workers stop
suggesting what I need to be doing on my time
off, DARN IT!!! 38,Gretchen
38,Gretchen
I didn’t know this newsletter existed until I read an
article about it in The Houston Chronicle September
2nd. YIPPEE, a leather spinster newsletter who would've
thought? I thought leather spinster was a term used in New York
only. Imagine my surprise when I found the
article on the leather spinster newsletter. Thank you Regena for
discovering leather spinsterhood for yourself thus
creating this forum for us to share. 41,Bebee
Neumann
Hi ya doing Regena? I once lived in Toronto and you interviewed a
neighbour of mine for your book a couple of years ago.
Boy, what an serendipitous moment when I read
Barbara Karabi’s article in the Chronicle. I
remembered you when the title of your book were
mentioned.
I usually don’t go on the internet unless it’s job related
but the day I read your article I went straight to the
Leather Spinsters' website and read every past issue of
the newsletter and ezine. Keep up the good work and
I’ll be looking forward to future issues. 36,Betty
My mother and I had a strained relationship
from as far back as I could remember. Nothing I
did was good enough for her, at least in outward
appearances. For years my mother faulted me
for not marrying this guy I dated for several
years after high school. Every chance she had
she would warn me about being an old maid for
not choosing to marry him.
My mother was fifteen years old when she had
me so she missed out on alot of things I took for
granted like proms,college, and general
freedoms. Her mother never forgave her for
getting pregnant as a teenager so they had a
strained relationship, too.
My mother passed away three years ago at the
age of 45. No warnings she just slipped away in
her sleep one night. The day before her death
we had the best time driving through Vermont
visiting the various shops. It was that day she
apologized for treating me so harshly over the
years. She opened up to me sharing her feelings
on the tough decisions she had made with her
life. I saw a softness in her I had never seen
before that day. She told me how glad she were
I didn’t submit to her pressures to marry
someone I didn’t love.
The next morning when my grandmother called
saying Momma was found dead I nearly fainted.
I couldn’t believe she had left me after finally
opening up her heart to me. I didn’t get to know
her as much as I would’ve liked but it’s a
consolation to me that she shared her feelings
on the life path I chose, so for that I’m extremely
thankful. I guess there’s no real significance to
my letter for others but I had to share it.
33,Tonie
SUCCESS - PROFESSIONAL
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The Ex-Wives Club is an on-line community for
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Inside this Newsletter
1. Article
A. "Male Friends"
B. I Can Scream But I Won't
2. Spinster Letter
3. Inspiration Corner
4. Hot Apple Drink
5. Advertisements
"Male Friends"
L
eather Spinsters have a few code words that are
sometimes misleading for those outside of the loop,
one such expression is “male friends”. The definition of a “male friend” is a man who have a
discrete relationship with a leather spinster doesn’t
matter if it’s sexual or platonic. He’s a person she can
confide in, more often than not he’s someone she’s
known for many, many years. Last month I held a online discussion with some of the readers on the topic of "male friends". I asked them the following question:
What type of relationship do you have with your "male friends"?
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I Can Scream But I Won’t
B
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leatherspinsters@mailcity.com
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