Inside this Newsletter
By whose standards do we live our lives? Much depends on the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
One who is drowning has no use for water, whereas another dying of thirst in the desert would give everything and anything for a sip of water.
A wealthy individual has no need to find a few dollars with which to put food on the table, whereas a poor person has a great need for that few dollars.
That person with the great need for just a few dollars is normally willing to do just about anything to obtain that money. The wealthy person could pick and choose what it would take to earn a few dollars.
Society as a whole tends to try setting standards for all of us. This is self-defeating. Each of us as individuals have different standards by which we evaluate things and circumstances in our lives.
Living in a densely wooded area with deer, raccoons, squirrels, rattlesnakes, rabbits and other denizens of the area provides me a unique sanctuary. A city dweller who had never been exposed to anything other than city life would be terrified if they had to spend even one night in what is to me a sanctuary. By the same token, I would be extremely uncomfortable in a large city.
If we are ever to be comfortable with our lives, we must live by our own standards, and not those others try to establish for us. We must march to our own band and let nobody rain on our parade.
Copyright 2001 by Robert Taylor
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Last month's issues of the newsletter was preposterous. It was too much for me to stomach. I could not accept the idea of blaming a woman for being raped, did not matter what she had said or done prior to being raped. For the life of me I could not understand what rape had to do with being happily unmarried. After listening to a debate on late night radio on something similiar I can now grasp why it was important to discuss rape in this forum. To be happily unmarried requires full participation in the decision making process taking nothing for granted. As long as women not think through their choices prior rather than hastily jumping in with both feet they will forever be victimized. Surely a happily unmarried women who is confident in herself do not neeed to generate negative male attention to feel important. As god-beings women must learn to control themselves, in controlling themselves they will in some indirect way control the environment. Clearly all the examples you gave of rape showed lack of control not just on the males part but the females as well.(anonymous) I Get It Now!
It don't seem as though anyone take responsibility for their actions anymore, even worse, society don't make them take responsibility for their actions.Pudden
Party Girl Rapes sounds more like Jerry Springer than real life. anonymous
I agree with your stance, no more excusing poor behavior from women because it hurts us all in the long run. Yvette
Your article on Party Girl Rapes had a self-righteous slant but was correct on how we as women should own up to our own double standards. If you are easily offended maybe you should have listened to the man who warned you of the direction the article was taking because you are going to get some backlash from women who do not share your attitude.CJ
Finally somebody who have the "gritos" and will tell it like it is.Doris
The party girl rape article was disturbing to me but they are happening in all of our communities. Plain self-destructiveness is what it is. Think about it this way, if you knew someone who suffered from a disorder that caused them to cut themselves would you give them a razor? Supporting women who cry rape after encouraging men to fondle them at parties is like giving the self-mutilator a razor, does more harm then help. Thank you for discussing this topic.Eliza Beth, 34
This article could only be tackled off the beaten path because it hardly qualify as "politically correct" mainstream speaking. Never had anyone cut through the crap and said what needed to be said to uplift women within these last decades until now.Beade
Your article on Party Girl Rape is without a doubt an article that is the gas on the fire. Some would view it as blaming the victim, I don't. If women would stop pretending we're without faults and address the madness our courts wouldn't have to sort through the aftermath. Young women must be raised to understand after a certain age they are responsible for themselves therefore they must make wise and logical decisions, they can no longer blame somebody else for their indiscretions.Dominique
I know you received more flack than support for your argument concerning women being responsible for themselves but you have mine for sure.!Elise
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I've read this newsletter without fail for three years now and there are issues that touch me in a very intimate way. One of those issues is when Tonie (October 99 issue) shared her story about her relationship with her mom. I cry everytime I read that testimony to love, I envy her. Because of her brief moment with her mother's openness she knows what it feels like to be truly loved by someone unconditionally. I pray for that type of relationship or at the least the shared moment with my own mother, but at present can only receive it from friends.
Tonie's mother saw that her pushing her daughter to sacrifice life honesty for marriage to someone just to appease her was wrong and she offered an apology, my mother don't see it and won't apologize. She tells me life has no meaning with no regards to accomplishments if you don't have a marriage and children. There was a day not long ago my mother told me she can't relate to women being so damn content alone and she thinks it keeps her from loving me as much as a mother should. Can't explain her logic but I remain compassionate towards her.
That hurts when your marital status determines if someone can love you back, but thanks to my friends who also read this publication I have people who genuinely care for me and can love me unconditionally. Tonie's story is inspiring, because it lets us know we don't know when our last conversation will take place therefore we should love, really love without fault those close to us. I love my mom she just don't love me (we'll she don't show it) but I do know she don't accept me, an aging spinstered daughter. Grace X. Massey, 48
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