IT'S IMPERATIVE WE THINK FOR OURSELVES.

"I had a inkling to get my money out but I didn't because management said it was safe." anonymous Enron worker

We're a society of sheep, and inspite of what you heard about sheep they are not the epitome of blessed and smart creatures. So if your philosophy in life is to be apart of the herd you're dooming yourself to be a lifetime victim.

Whenever someone else's opinion of a situation outweighs your gut instinct you know you have a serious problem that demands immediate attention from YOU. Why? Your gut instinct is the superconscious way of ensuring your survival as a human being, however, when you choose to not listen to its promptings you create hardships for yourself.

When you disregard or not trust the information sent to you by your "gut" instinct you're turning away your bridge over troubled water, your objective defense system. A defense mechanism created to keep YOU safe from harm, be it physical, emotional, spiritual (or in the case of Enron), financial. I'm just floored by the Enron fiasco, not just by the hardship it has caused many people but by the employees who had gut feelings something was wrong long before the corporation's collapse and did nothing to save themselves.

Is there a lesson to be learned? Yes, it is the highlighted mistrust we have of ourselves, our lack of contact with our real selves (subconscious, and superconscious) and how it leaves us in harms way. This is just a friendly reminder to not second guess your intuition because it's the line in the sand that separate victors from victims.

What is intuition?

Is there a lesson to be learned? Yes, it illustrates three points, one it shows how ignorant we are of our Godgiven abilities, secondly it highlights our eagerness to surrender our right to choose for self to others, and thirdly it points out the insecurity of the masses in trusting their own decisions. This is just a friendly reminder to not second guess your intuition because it's the line drawn in the sand that separate victors from victims.

In short our intuition is the unhindered (so-called off the wall) response to a question or situation. Do you know the voice inwhich I speak? I'm talking about the one we often disregard or overanalyze into obscurity out of fear of being different or wrong. Long forgotten is the reason why we have intuition (or gut feeling) in the first place, it's not to make us appear silly to those around us, but to help us live as divine beings. Confident, Secure, Self-Reliant.

When we disregard our gut feelings on any situation we make ourselves weak and gullible to the world around us, and as you know the world can be a harsh and cruel place for those who lack the necessary survival skills.

INTUITION is in us for survival sake so don't be afraid to THINK unhindered.

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Regena English, the editor of The Leather Spinsters Newsletter (SM) at http://leatherspinsters.com and is the proud creator of Leather Spinster Wear (TM) -clothes that makes a subtle statements about female singlehood. Store #1 & Store #2

Frankly I like the notion of women saying I'm staying home with mommy and daddy and that's that. I don't see anything wrong here, the parents finances are being padded and the daughter has a safe environment to live. No losses here. Where did it come from saying over a certain age leave home to prove you're an adult? Parents and adult kids can have an orderly arrangement that don't steal adulthood from either, look at Yoki and her folks.Beth

Hello Regina,
I loved the article on japanese women. It is sad westerners can not appreciate the living standards of Japan's finest. Debs

Editoress,
There was a time women stayed home with their parents until married. No bacherlorette cribs, no Mary Tyler Moores throwing her hat in the air in some appartment. Single gals stayed home and if they never married they never left. Why not go back to that if it benefits both the parents and the kids? Loved the article. Ryonna

Howdy Regena and readers,
The month of June I think it was when Bill Mahr made some comments about adult children who chose to stay home with their parents so they could afford expensive cars and not have to pay bills. It was his opinion adult kids were lazy and did not accept adult responsibility when they went back home to stay, in other words they were big babies. I happened to agree with him but Yoki I am not so sure. It is not like she is taking and not giving so I am torn. Thanks for introducing Yoki to us.Maygan

Aging parents on fixed incomes, selfish single women with expensive taste equals a good living situation? Gee on one hand that sounds great but stepping back Yoki is fleecing her parents. Money can't be the answer to everything and that's the impression I received from the article. Her parents are equivalent to convenience and nothing more, how is that good? Do I think she should marry if she clearly don't want to? No but get out there and make your own way without using your aging parents to do it.Teri

Regena you gave us another thought provoking article. As a elderly woman I can tell you my generation of women seldom left our parents home unmarried no matter how successful financially or otherwise. I didn't but many of my spinster friends remained with their parents until their deaths. There should be no friction if there is mutual respect between the parents and adult child. I know there are exceptions to the rules but I am speaking in general. Beulah

Unpredictable economies and corporations going topsy turvy there will be many women finding themselves in Yoki's shoes. They may not have parents to go home to and running to marriage is not an option so they will need to establish untraditional living arrangements that would allow them to live comfortably. Last but surely not least, they will need thick skins for all those unflattering names like "parasites" they will without a doubt be hearing in reference to their living choices.Willita

The dictionary refers to a parasite as a person who receives support or advantages from another or others without giving useful or proper return. How is it these women qualify for the term parasite? They are giving in two way, financially and socially. Their parents are on limited incomes, I assume retired and any extra income would help them greatly, even if it is the paying of their monthly bills. What parent dont worry about their children expecially their daughters? How often have you concerned yourself with your parents welfare, are their needs being met, are they feeling well, and so on? I think those Japanese women are taking advantage of a great opportunity where two parties are successfully getting their needs met in a loving way.Bethany

My hat is off to those "single" sisters in Japan.Reese

Sounds like the man who coined the term "parasite singles" did so out of anger. Angry they are saying no to the customary status quo of marriage. These ladies are not willing to subsidize their freedoms just to be a slave to a way of life they don't want. More power to them!Toni

Three years ago dr phil counseled a mother and thirty six year old son on oprah and it was not pretty. They referred to the son as a moocher and told him to move out and get a job. The man mother had changed the door locks and he still found a way back into the house. i guess he did not get the message he was not wanted. The japanese women unfairly earned the name parasite singles and they contribute to their room and board if not more. It should be people like the 36 year old unemployed (and not looking) son living so mom could support him being called a parasite.britney j.

How will they feel in thirty years after mom and pop are dead and gone how will they survive then?anonymous

Good grief my parents drove me up the wall when I needed temporary shelter (3 unbelievable months) after my divorce twelve years ago. They wanted me to stick around alot longer than I did but they were driving me nuts. My father (ex-military man), God bless him, woke me every morning at four oclock (even on my off days) and I didn't have to be at work until ten thirty. Lights, television, air conditioners, heaters, EVERYTHING (except refrigerator and clocks) were turned off at nine oclock every night. My mom the sweetest woman you'll ever know (when you don't live with her) nagged me to death with her frequent visits to my room while I was at work and her various questions and sly remarks. You didn't make your bed like I taught you why, why don't you fold your panties in your panty drawer (a supposely private matter between me and me), everybody goes to church here including you dear, especially you dear. How about, who was that you were talking to on the phone, did I see you talking to a MAN? My God I don't remember them being this way when I was a teenager, maybe I've blacked all of it out somehow. :-) If I had to permanently live that way day in and day out as a thirty-nine year old woman I would dread going home. Yoki have a good set up I wouldn't mind it providing I had accomodating parents which God knows I don't. :-) Denise

Regena
RE your article on Japanese women, 10 years ago I met some Japanese women in London and talking to them, it was plain that they had left Japan permanently because they were career women and they would get nowhere in their careers in Japan, because they were women. And if it happened that they married an Englishman, that would be fine, but the main idea was to get away from the restrictions of being a woman in Japan. But that was 10 years ago.

You were going to ask your readers what being a spinster meant to them, but I haven't seen it yet. Let me prod you with a statement about what it means in Britain. Michael Bell

What does "Spinster" mean in Britain? From a man's perspective

In Britain the the word "spinster" is nowadays little used outside legal settings. It simply means "A woman who has never been married". A woman who has been divorced or widowed is certainly "single" and that is the word that is generally used. The word "spinster" was used in the period 1910 - 1980 of generally middle-class women who had chosen career before marriage in the period when that choice had to be made.

There are many reasons why a woman may be single. In a very few cases, a parent, usually a widowed parent, may be opposed to a grown-up child marrying, and I have known sad cases of middle-aged people marrying within weeks of a parent's death. Rare nowadays.

In some cases there is sadly obvious good reason why that person has not married. Something like a drink problem or a bad temper. But these are few.

I have certainly known cases where families have put pressure on people to marry and have children, a current case I know of involves a woman wanting her brother to marry and have children so that her children can play with his. Such things must happen all over the world. But I know of no case of pressure to marry from outside the family.

In some cases a woman may imply or say openly that she has CHOSEN not to marry. It is strange how it may be made plain without saying so that a choice has been made, what are the signals? But when a woman says in so many words that she has chosen not to marry, that invites discussion. Discussion always centres around whether she has made a good choice for HERSELF, I have never heard it said or implied that any kind of womanly DUTY has been shirked.

In most cases single women are single as a result of that crazy zig-zag of choice and chance by which all of us have reached our present condition, rich or poor, happy or unhappy, doing this job rather than that, living in this town or that town, etc. Some are willing to talk about it as such, treat it as a misfortune rather than a failure, certainly not as a shame and not one that has broken their lives. They have done other things. "As one door closes, another opens". And if they see it as a misfortune, then there is no wrong in discussing it in those terms.

I am sure that single women are treated no differently to me, a divorced man. People sometimes ask, delicately, for it could obviously be a sensitive subject, why I have not married again. They do this out of genuine care and concern, not mockery or criticism. And I return their goodwill by giving them the honest answer, that I would like to marry again, but it's got to be the right woman. I don't put things on hold waiting, I enjoy life as I have it now, and if that happy day comes when the right woman comes along, I will seize it with joy. Michael Bell

Outside of Mainstream Thinking
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